Richard is back home…I have just this minute come off the phone to the Luton crematorium where I gave consent to Richards sister ( age 83 ) to have his ashes sent back home to be with his brother and parents, and although the reason of my phone call was to ask if he was back yet, but to also ask if dogs ashes could be scattered with mine if I was to get myself back home and when my time is up I am not wanting my ashes to be scattered either with, or near to Richards but told no they dont scatter dogs ashes there at their crematorium but , the man did start off telling me that Richards ashes arrived yesterday…I was so happy, I am happy amongst my tears and holding Richards photo to my heart as i was telling him, " you are now back home, you have arrived there…" Yes i feel the distance barrier but happy that both with the help of his sister and with my agreement he is back home at last, where he belongs with his brother, mother and father…The man even gave me the place Richards ashes are scattered at, if I am ever lucky to get myself back towards home, I shall if I can go pay my respects, not only to Richard but my parents and family graves back home in Watford at the cemetery…I would love to go tell my parents i am back home…
But how strange and uncanny is that, the day out of the blue I phone the Luton crematorium to be told Richard ashes had just arrived there yesterday, now is that another sign from our God? as we all know that " our God, works in mysterious ways…" he sure does…
Jackie…
Jackie…
The man also told me where his ashes are…I hope and pray one day i can get back to go see him…I had always told my Richard that I want my ashes scattered amongst trees and birds, of course I had always assumed I would go before him, he was the healthy one up until recently…I know I will need to add this to my will but only when I move from this isolated home i am now left all by myself to keep living in until I can safely and legally put this place on the for sale market…
I am so happy he is back where he belongs, he is back home, a place he was at his happiest, not here in Dorset…
Hello Jackie
Its lovely to hear you have had some comfort amongst all this unhappiness. Take care x
Nick
Nick - everybody…
…I am crying yet i am happy, I am walking around my home saying " he is back home " your are back home Richard " back where you belonged, I was the one who took him away from home to move so far away here in Dorset, part of "no thanks " to my PP-MS diagnoses of 11 th April 4 years ago, same date I lost my Richard 13 weeks ago…
I owe Richard this as I know he wasnt happy being uprooted in the first place but he done it to please me, now if only I had chosen to have stayed closer to home…I know his sister ( 83) made it clear over the phone that " no, you shouldn’t have moved…" this was during our phone conversations of me being left to organise Richards funeral…they played no part in it apart from coming and travelling the 140 plus miles distance…4 busy motorways including Heathrow…
Families can be strange things cant they. My lot never approved of me moving down to kent to be with Jane. I dont think they mean to be unpleasant they just dont know what we’re going through. I collected Jane’s ashes a couple of weeks ago. This was her home village and although neither of us were religious she loved the village church - we often used to walk the dogs up there.
So I’m hoping to get the ashes interred up there. Just got to organise it but cant face it at the moment
Very best wishes
Nickx
Families can be strange things cant they. My lot never approved of me moving down to kent to be with Jane. I dont think they mean to be unpleasant they just dont know what we’re going through. I collected Jane’s ashes a couple of weeks ago. This was her home village and although neither of us were religious she loved the village church - we often used to walk the dogs up there.
So I’m hoping to get the ashes interred up there. Just got to organise it but cant face it at the moment
Very best wishes
Nickx
Yes scatter your Janes ashes where you believe she would want them to be scattered…I understand this can play hard on some families but what is important is what you know they would have wanted…I remember and it doesn’t seem that long ago, just before last Christmas and not for the first time, I had said to Richard…" if anything ever happens to you, I would make sure your ashes go back home with your parents…" he said he wasn’t all that bothered " but i felt hand on heart that he had gone past caring…although he had no beliefs on the after life, as far as he was always concerned, was, " when we are dead, we are dead…" My beliefs are totally the opposite, I believe in the afterlife… we were chalk and cheese in many things, but it worked between us such as he was the calm and laid back person, not really a conversationalist whereas I am the worrier and the talker…also the realist, always looking to the future of things that may or may not happen, well in Richards case, it did happen…
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Thanks Jackie - thats exactly what I will do well as soon as I feel I can face it.
Interesting what you say about the afterlife - Jane always believed there was something but wasn’t necessarily sure what. I’ve never been sure or particularly worried about it until now. So hope there is x
Dear Jackie
We have all been talking about signs. The fact you rang when you did to be told immediately Richard’s ashes had arrived - I think that is a sign. You may say co-incidence but they say the signs are subtle - so please take it as the sign you have been looking for, especially as it has made you happy he is back where he belongs.
Take care
Trisha xx
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Trisha…
…I had a couple of strange things happen in the early days when hunting for papers and documents…I just know that it was Richard who had been guiding me to them, or to open it, or to find it,even though I had looked so many times for it and could not find it, and there it was, so near yet how could I have not seen it before…
Jackie sending ((( hug )))
Oh how i wish we were both back home, tucked up in our house with the three dogs and our health just like it was not too long ago…
Think this morning the reality has set in, Richard is not a body anymore, he has now completely gone, he is not a person, a body, he is just ashes…He is not a person, and my reality is hitting me hard this morning, yes another crying session as i lay across Richards bed rubbing the pillows where his head once would have been…
Jackie…
Yes having another breakdown cry, as previous post mentions the reality of Richards body being ashes is getting to me, the reality that he is not a whole body anymore…Richard has really gone, he is no more but he will be with me in my heart and he is with me in spirit…We really dont know how much someone means to us until they are gone, or how much we really did love them until they are gone from us forever, just wished I had of had the chance to have told him how much face to face before he had died but, it was so sudden, I never had the chance…
Jackie…
Jackie…
Morning Jackie
I’ve sent you a private message
Blessings
Jen☆
Has something happened to our original site I can’t seem to be receiving any messages,hope you are all coping and trying to get through the difficult life that we all have.
Take care
Brenda
Morning fo you mean the ‘Lost my Husband’ thread? If so, if is still here, but no posts since Monday, I’ve just scrolled down the threads in Lost a Partner.
Blessings
Jen☆
I am never going to get used to my empty life without my Richard in it…As I have Multiple Sclerosis I would always tell Richard when I was going to take a shower, not a daily but weekly shower as I am always nervous when inside it…well just taken my shower ( safely ) again but found myself as usual crying out to Richard " I’m out Richard…" as I always had done, only this time I am whimpering, I am out Richard, I am out of the shower, where are you, where are you…"