I am three months on from that terrible day and not doing too badly but I had a miserable thought this morning: i am still wearing my wedding ring and the beautiful engagement
ring I have always loved so much. I couldn’t bear to take them off and yet has their meaning gone?

Hi Mrsmap, my husband, Tim, died nearly 14 weeks ago. I still wear my rings and always will. Tim put my ring on my finger 25 years ago and it’s remained there ever since. To me the meaning hasn’t gone, I am still Tim’s wife and always will be.

Absolutely not. Our rings mean exactly the same as they always did. In fact, I found my eternity ring about a week after my husband died, I’d misplaced it a couple of years ago and we decided, after several searches around our house, that I must have lost it outside. Not the case, because I found it in a shoe box of all places. I put it back on my finger the second I found it. What I’m really saying is, I’m putting rings on, not taking them off. And my eternity ring means just that…’eternity’ x


Please don’t think about taking them off, they are part of what you had together. My soulmate went in hospital and the nurse said to put his wedding ring on my other hand. At the time I couldn’t so I put it on my necklace which I never take off but it made a rattling noise so I put it my finger, it been there every since. My rings mean so much to me. I don’t have nice fingers, all bent and horrible but my rings make them look ok. You keep them just were they should be.

Although my wife only died four weeks ago, I can’t imagine removing my wedding ring. I’ve also got her ring on a chain around my neck.

My mother kept my father’s ring on a chain for the rest of her life after he passed on.

I didn’t bother with a wedding ring. I just got a signet ring which I still wear. I wore my wife’s wedding ring on my little finger for her funeral, but not since as I would be scared of losing it.

I hate the fact that I am now technically classed as single. I understand why but I feel as married now to my lovely George as the day he died at the end of November. My rings are staying firmly on my finger where he put them. I was so proud the day I married him and took his surname and all those things will be the same until the day I go to be with him xx

Debra27, not single, it’s even worse to me, we are widows. No black outfit or jet black necklace. I find it very difficult to say I am on my own and still talk about us, ours and never just ‘me’. Why does anyone want to know, I makes no difference in many respects but so many forms ask, it’s worse than age, sex or colour. Sorry I am letting of steam about something that makes me cross. One day no one will want to know.
Now to unwind and smile.:slight_smile:

Sorry Susie 123, I know it is so horrible. I had a works medical a couple of weeks ago and the nurse asked my marital status. Without really thinking about it I said widow, the poor nurse looked horrified as she groped round for something to say, and even more so when she asked me how long and I said end of November. In future if people ask me verbally, unless it is for a legal document, I am going to say married because that is what I am, my husband is just in heaven xx


I’m not a great fan of the other W word. I’ve just had a look at my wife’s certificate of death and I am described as widower, but she was described as wife of.

The exact same thing, exact same, happened to me that day too tortoise. I saw that word and that was the end of the appointment for me…! I had one other awful experience too a couple of weeks ago. I received a letter from the tax office. Asking me to contact them with some information. I rang them. Part way through the conversation the woman (obviously not a widow) said, “your own tax code may change now given that your marriage has ended”… I won’t repeat my response. I’m just thankful it was a telephone conversation and not a face to face affair. For her sake, not mine!!!

That’s great, I may feel lonely but he is still around telling me things.
Bless you.