So…the dreaded 1st anniversary of losing my reason to be arrives this weekend. It’s just another date on the calender…isn’t it?..
There are no words that can describe
How much I miss you by my side
To find a phrase is really tough
Because ‘so much’ is not enough
What can I say that’s not been said?
Just can’t accept that you are dead
My waking hours are filled with pain
And everyday is just the same
My life is now a spinning wheel
And nothing in this world seems real
The things I see look as before
But now just props from acts before
I’ve had enough, life’s now a chore
Don’t want to do this anymore
It doesn’t work, I think you know
How can I leave this horror show?
Now anything I try to do
Just doesn’t matter without you
The future looks so bleak to me
A way to go I cannot see
The years progress, events repeat
I have no choice, accept defeat
Reminders of a life now gone
I’m just supposed to carry on
And so I stumble on alone
Now lost inside our perfect home
It feels just like I’m in a cell
With each new day a living hell
Ripped in half, that’s what is left
Two halves of one, but one bereft
There is no way to make me whole
The missing part contains my soul
…time isn’t healing…miss you 
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I have just passed this milestone of horror. What can I say - life doesn’t get any better does it . where have our lost loves gone ?
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Hello @UnityMan
Thank your for another of your poems.
The first anniversary is horrendous… But no more horrendous than the 364 days that preceded it… As you say just another day on the calendar.
Others think that day will be worse than other days for us … for me I suppose it was just the date, the horrible realisation that a whole bloody year had passed, cos I didn’t feel any sadder, any different, and still don’t…
Almost 17 months now for me, no idea how the hell that happened, or how I’m still surviving??!!!
Much love and hugs, and strength for the weekend to you.
From C x
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Yes…that’s exactly how it is. On BBC TV just now is the World Indoor Bowls tournament. I am not a player or a particular fan…but during my Sandies first week on chemo I remember we watched this on her hospital TV…just coz it was on. She finished her first week of chemo on Friday…died Sunday. I can’t watch the bowls this year…it just says…yes, she’s really gone…
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@UnityMan , what a lovely truthfull poem , it really says it all , the first anniversary is absolutely horrendous, you wonder how the hell have you got through a year , I’m passed my husband’s second anniversary and I still don’t know how I’m still here, I try so hard to be positive and live this life , but my husband was my life the only life I knew and wanted, sending love and strength to help you through this weekend , your poems help me a lot thank you for sharing them xtake carex
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So heartbreakingly beautiful - thank you for sharing x
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Dear @UnityMan
Any words would be inadequate.
So just a virtual hug, and the knowledge that you know, that I know just how hard today and tomorrow will be for you. I am thinking of you.
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Thank you…been a hard day…sending 
back at ya.
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