Feel like my whole life is falling apart by the day,I’m still struggling so bad with the pain,devastation&heartbreak of losing my soulmate 6 weeks ago ,now i’ve lost my job,i live in a rented house that i hate-it just doesn’t feel like a home anymore,i want to move to a new city but not sure how to make it happen.I’m literally feel like i’m hanging on by the skin of my teeth-one more blow will cause me to hit rock bottom &that terrifies me beacause i’ve been there before &it took 5 years to get back up again 
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Really feel for you, I lost my Julie 10weeks ago, she was my soul mate, love of my life my whole world, nothing anyone says or does will make you feel any better, we are all trapped in this nightmare and nobody can really help, every day you just carry on but for what your life as you know it has gone and your whole world has been ripped apart.
it’s an added problem for you to lose you job, I feel like running away every day but I have so many good memories of our home together I don’t think I could ever let it go, hope you manage to stay strong
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You won’t let that happen if you’ve been there before. You’ll recognise the signs and get help. But I know exactly how you feel and the councellor I had said it was something that’s lots of us mention. I to didn’t want to go down a black hole and thankfully I didn’t. Have you spoken to your GP?
What you’re feeling is not unusual. Have you friends and family to lean on for help? It’s such early days but please hold on as it does get better, not so raw and all consuming.
Maybe right now is not the best time to make big decisions, if there’s no rush, maybe wait a while till you feel a bit more stable.
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Thank you for your kind words.I’m so sorry for your loss.It seems like there are so many of us on here going through the same emotions&struggles its just hesrtbreaking isn’t it?Be kind to yourself x
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Last time i hit rock bottom was when i lost my first husband 22 years ago,i was only 29&he had just turned 30-i didn’t grieve properly,suppressed it all,went completely off the rails&down a very dark road,my son was 9 yrs old at the time &if it wasn’t for him I honestly don’t think I would be here now.Now i’ve lost my soulmate its totally destroyed me-i am beyond devastated but slso determined to grieve the right way.I have spoke to GP-she says i have emotional traumatic shock&has prescribed mitazapine which i started taking yesterday,fingers crossed it may help.i have no family close by they all live 200 miles away as do my late partners family.I find talking to people in the same situation on this site is helping me&giving me hope that i can get through this horrendous time.x
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Oh @Hayz71 to go through this twice , that’s just unimaginable, I am so sorry this has happened to you. I’m so glad you have sought help and hope it starts to help you soon.
Yes, talking in here can be very helpful xx
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I’m so sorry this has happened again. I’m where you were 22 years ago. Husband is 43, we have two young kids and he’s got terminal cancer. It’s so hard. Well done for finding a way through that.
Don’t they always say don’t make any big decisions when you’re grieving (e moving). Do you have any friends/family support where you currently live?
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Dear Hayz, just to say you are not alone, the same happened by me last November, hubby died suddenly at home, I also have had to leave my job and am in rented. Looking back i would have spent many many days locked away in my bedroom (my choice), unable to see ahead.
Its now 10 months, I have changed, HOW ! I have read, and read,and read, forums, books about grief (amazon audible is so good), my husband is in my thoughts every day, but the absolute panic attacks, constant crying are no more. I live a very quiet life, one day at a time, I do not plan anything (dont want to), I have my dogs, cats, for us all this grief is an emotion we can never ever be prepared for, we have to experience the pain to understand it, its all new and totally unfair but I have realised that when you truly love someone it hurts. I may come on here tomorrow broken down, because when that wave hits us we know, I am prepared for it now, so i just ride it, then it goes away, I cant say I am happy, I miss him so much, but i have accepted whats happened. Dont be hard on yourself, and remember this “We read to know we are not alone” …
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@Nori I’m so very sorry to hear what you are going through at the moment,its a truly awful thing to go through -I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.I’m here if you ever need to chat/offload/rant.Look after you xx
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@Velvet007 Thank you for your inspiring message-its nice to hear there is hope.I am trying my best-reading lots of poetry&trying to write some myself as i’ve always been very competent at expresssing myself in writing.I know grief is the price we pay for love&boy oh boy does it hurt!For now I am taking life day by day trying to keep my head above water.I do believe in time i will work it all out &figure out where my new place in the world is.Take care of yourself&keep being amazing xx
Do you recommend any books ? X
Dear Laura, I have an AmazonAudible account which is easier for me because of my eyesight.
The first true story was The Madness of Grief by Rev.Richard Coles, who lost his partner a few years ago, i could relate to all the emotions he was feeling as I went through the same. xxxxxx Velvet xxx
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