Hi all, This is my first time on here but I felt like I needed to chat with some other people, I lost my dad in July, I am really struggling with this at the moment as I feel permanently sad and keep just crying everyday, I am struggling to get out of bed in the morning, never want to go to work, feel ill all the time and just want to sleep, is this normal? It is the run up to Christmas which I am dreading, which I think may be adding to the way I feel. I have been taking each day as it comes and trying to keep myself busy but I don’t know ow how long I can keep that up for.
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Hello Shelly , so sorry you have lost your dad . Everything you have said is normal . I lost my mum in June and i struggle to get out of bed in a morning , keep crying , depressed, don’t want to do anything . I finished counselling 2 weeks ago and i am arranging some more in January hopefully . I am dreading Christmas , will be glad when its over . Try to keep your mind occupied as much as you can , i also find a little walk also helps . Its tough but i keep plodding on , that is all any of us can do . Keep posting on this site as it helps too . Take care of yourself . Love Angie xx
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Hello Shelly
I read your post and I had to stop by. I’m so sorry to hear you have lost your lovely Dad. I wanted to offer some hope for your future as I lost my Dad 22 years ago suddenly. He was my guiding light and my rock, I didn’t know how I was going to live one more minute let alone one more day without him. It was 1999 and just before the millennium so the run up to Christmas was unbearable. I was dreading leaving him behind come the New Year but a new century?! I couldn’t even begin to imagine that.
I still miss him every day but it’s not as painful. At times it can be when I want to tell him something or just give him a hug but I still see him in my dreams even now and then, not often but sometimes.
I lost my Mum on 10th November to cancer and I thought I would somehow be tougher, stronger and equipped to cope with that having already lost my Dad but no, I so wasn’t , it’s just completely different and I feel right back where I was in 99. I so feel your pain right now but everything you feel is completely normal. Don’t push those feelings sad feelings away. Entertain them, invite them in to pull up a chair and let it all out. Don’t bottle anything up and do things at your own pace not anyone else’s. This is your grief.
I am here if you want to chat at any time about this or anything, no pressure. Thinking of you. Love Sal x
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Hello to you both, sals reply is why I love this site. People always there to help each other and just to be there for each other. Bless you Sal and Angie and Shelly you are in excellent hands. S xx
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Thank you Susie xx
Thank you all for the kind words of support, I am really glad I joined this site, yes ange I agree that walking is helping, I’m trying to do a walk a day to clear my head. Thank you sal your response has reassured me a little, I’m so sorry you have both lost so much and I here for you too if you want to chat.
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Hello Shelly,
You are very welcome , we are all here to help each other . Pleased to hear walking is helping . Thank you for your kind words . Take care . Love Angie x
Hi Shelly sorry for your loss I lost my dad in 2009 we found out just before Xmas he had lung cancer and was given weeks to live he died in January before he died he asked my husband to look after my mum and me. This he did until August this year when he too was taken from us now it’s just mum and me. They are both buried side by side at local cemetery and we visit everyday hope they are both together playing cards in heaven until we can all be together again. It’s so sad thinking once there was 4 of us now it’s just 2 I too cry all the time and miss them both so much
I’m so sorry to hear this, I’m sure they are both together, I’m glad you have got somewhere to visit., I think that makes some sort of difference, my dad was cremated, but I have moved back in with my mum so it is just us two this year aswell. We are still going to try and make the most of Christmas though, we are going to change some of our traditions as it won’t be the same and don’t think we can handle doing the same things without them.
Always here x
Oh bless you I feel the same I lost my mum Sunday its unbearable !! But I keep thinking I got through yesterday I can get through today although I wish I could press the stop button for a rest of this agony I feel for you lovely if you want to chat im Michelle x
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Hello all. This is my first time on here but I felt like I needed to chat with some other people. I lost my dad 7 months ago with covid. He was the one person I couldn’t imagine my life without. I was not allowed to fly to be with him in his last days due to lot of covid restrictions at that time. I never saw his body because the hospital staff burnt him straightway due to covid rules. I feel very very sad all the time . I really don’t know what to do
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Not only am I sorry to hear of your loss and the pain that on many levels we here can empathise with but the extra barriers like not being able to see him etc I don’t think anyone can comprehend unless it’s happened to them.
Have you had company today at some point? x.
Again so sorry for your loss (I know that sounds hollow but I sincerely mean it) x
@Anjali1
My boyfriend is from India and also lost his mom around the same time as you lost your dad. He also was not able to visit her due to COVID restrictions, as he is living in the US. He has been struggling as well. Sometimes he seems fine, and other times he gets irritated easily. Our relationship has been falling apart, as I felt like we were arguing too much and he was getting irritated at me too often for minor things, but now I am realizing that he is still grieving the loss of his mom and that affects his mood. He isn’t able to celebrate holidays like Diwali and New Years as he just doesn’t see the joy in it right now without his favorite person.
I am really sorry to know about your struggles, but you are not alone. Several of my friends have lost parents this past year, and it has been a dark holiday season. It really sucks. Sending you love.
Hello that’s awful I have days like this too lost my both parents four years ago and haven’t had to come on anything like this but it’s time to face up to facts and I realise it’s better to talk with people than bottling it up. It does get easier but u just learn to live with it keep your self busy and think that that he wouldn’t want you to be struggling. I have bad days especially around Xmas where I’ll drink myself stupid but it doesn’t help it makes things worse. Keep your chin up and do it for him.
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