Only the second time I have posted on here, I do come here and read everyone’s posts most days but not been able to reply yet.I lost my husband to cancer nearly 8 weeks ago it was a long slow decline in his health and l looked after him at home throughout and he passed away in our bed where he wanted to be.Now I’m feeling lost and desperately sad without him.We were together for 50 years and married for 45.I just don’t know where I go from here can’t see a life for me without him.
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Hi @Molly120 I’m really sorry you have lost your husband and find yourself here on this site.
I know it a cliche but it’s just early days for you at the moment and the main thing is to just try to get through each day best you can.
Try to look after yourself too - rest when you can, eat to keep up your strength and lean on those who are around you if you can.
Keep posting on here if it helps - this is a kind and accepting community who all really understand what you are going through. It truly is awful but please know you are not alone in this - I hope that helps even a little bit.
Sending a big hug xxx
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Hi Molly. I lost my husband 12 weeks ago. Like you I feel sad and lonely. We were together 57 years and spent all our time together. I find if I try and keep busy it helps me get through the day. Do you have any hobbies, family nearby pets? We can all support each other here
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Hi molly
I am so very sorry about the loss of your husband.
You obviously loved him very much and cared for him until the end.
For me it’s been fourteen weeks we were married for forty years.
I too read all the posts on here and I am very surprised and desperately sorry to read the heart wrenching stories of people on here.
Somehow I imagined I was the only one.
What is worse is to learn that as well as grieving
we come across some people who make crass
Comments people who should know better even relatives.
We need unconditional love and support sympathy and understanding.
Since I have been looking and posting on here
I have had that in bucket loads.
Please continue with the devotion you had for your husband because I know when you love and are loved back then love never dies.
I miss my husband so much I feel as though I can’t ever live my life with out him but I have to.
It will be a different life and a more difficult life
as I now have to do ever thing on my own.
I send you much comfort and love x
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Hi @Molly120
I’m so sorry for your loss
As others have said, its still very early days for you.
You will get through this somehow. But I won’t pretend it will be easy.
It’ll be like being on a rollercoaster, up days and down days.
At the moment its mostly down days, but gradually you will find you are slowly climbing the rollercoaster and having some up days.
You have to try to look after yourself. Rest and eat and reach out for help.
There will be days you just feel like giving up.
But you won’t because like all of us on here you know you’ve got to move forward somehow.
Please keep posting on here.
We all understand what you are going through because we all are going through it too.
All at different stages.
All ready to listen and support you.
You are not alone
We are all here
Sending a big hug
Liz x x
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Thankyou for all of your replies and kind words really means a lot and my thoughts go out to you all.Ive always been a strong person over the years I’ve lost parents both my brothers and my sister all to cancer apart from my mum who had Alzheimer’s my husband and I looked after mum in our family home. My strength seems to have gone since losing my husband.Ive been out with my daughter and granddaughter but I haven’t been able to leave the house on my own yet don’t know why I’m struggling with this, tried to do this yesterday and go and meet my daughter from work, I don’t drive so would of meant catching a bus into town, just couldn’t do it. Thankyou for listening to me .
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Sorry meant to say love and hugs to you all.
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It sounds like you’ve lost a lot in your life but I think losing a husband is so much more different.
Initially i struggled to do lots of things but am gradually getting back to some. It’s strange how the mind works and how we react in ways we would never have thought.
Be kind to yourself and just take one task at a time. Xx
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Hiya Molly i am also 8 weeks in losing my darling husband, its so hard the pain feels like it will crush you. The lonilness the longing is so totatly unbearable. The wanting to sleep and wake up to realise its just been a horrible horrendous nightmare. Sending hugs to us all Jo xxx
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Hello Woolly Thankyou for reply.so sorry for your loss even though I don’t know you, I’m thinking of you.Ive spent most of my life just looking after my family and since lockdown was looking after my husband,there didn’t seem time for friends and hobbies just doing everything around the house and garden.Now without my husband I’m completely lost and heartbroken.Im 68 now so hard to start a new life haven’t got the motivation or confidence.xx
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Thankyou for those who have replied to my posts I haven’t quite got the hang of posting yet but I shall keep trying, I think I’ve put my last post in the wrong place.xx
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Morning Molly it doesnt matter where you post people will answer you. I am sorry you are part of this awful club, like you i loss Gra just over 8 weeks ago , its the most hardest painful part of my life.
I miss him every minute of every day, it hurts like hell the tears fall fast. Sending you hugs Jo xxc
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Morning Jevncute so sorry to hear you are suffering it’s the worst feeling ever .I keep saying I’m ok if family ask but I’m not but on here you can voice how we are really feeling and it does seem to help.sending hugs.
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Ty Molly likewise family dont understand just how awful the pain is .how lodt and lonely you feel.xx
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Thankyou Liz I am trying so hard to cope with this terrible grief.just feel exhausted.So having lazy day today trying to read a book.Hope you can find some peace in your day.xx
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Hello molly
So sorry for the loss of your husband.
To hear of your other losses is so very sad.
To lose your life partner is the worst thing.
I am in to fifteen weeks now of losing my wonderful husband Sam and I will never ever get over this.
I just can’t believe he is gone and I will never see him again.
Like you I feel exhausted and can’t rest.
Sleep poor despite a sleeping pill.
Hardly eat anything cooked anymore no inclination or any motivation.
A friend dropped off some books a couple of weeks ago they lie untouched on the table.
I know how hard this is.
Keep posting we are all here for each other.
I wish you comfort xx
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Hello Dol.,1 Sorry to hear the loss of your husband.Like you I don’t think I will ever get over this and be the same person again my husband was my life.I find I can voice my feelings and be honest to complete strangers were as if people I know ask and I say I’m ok.I used to enjoy cooking but not bothering much anymore.I know how painful this grief is but I’m sad too know there are so many people going through the same heartache my thoughts are with you all.very best wishes to you.
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Hi Molly,
I am so sorry for your loss. Like most people here, we are all trying, as best we can, to accept our loss and get through the early days, months and even years of our grief as best we can. Keep leaning on your family for support, helping you may help them through their own grief. In the early days for me, if I had to leave the house, I was so relieved to return to it. It was my place of safety. After a while, I realised that it was time to face the world, little by little, so I went for walks on my own and even spent some Saturday’s in town, just wandering around, but it did get me out of the house and used to talking to people, even if they were strangers.
Like you, I was aware that my partner had not long to live, but knowing that made nothing easier. Keep talking and keep posting, and mostly, take care of yourself, there are no time limits on grief.
John
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Hello John Thankyou for your post of encouragement and so sorry for the loss of your partner.I am happy for you that you are at the stage of being able to go out on your own and enjoy it.I am only 8 weeks into this journey so still not going out on my own.I hope too be able to do that in the future.My house is my safety net .Even though I was nursing my husband at home and bed ridden I don’t think I excepted he was passing as poorly as he was l wasn’t ready to loose him . I do have hope for the future but I am just not seeing it yet I still have the raw pain of grief like everyone else on here.I do take comfort from having people reply to posts , it’s good to know there are very kind people out there.Sorry I’ve rambled on a bit.I hope you have had some peace in your day.Very best wishes.
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So sorry @Molly120 . Early days; you’ll get that bus and go out one day, but only when you feel ready. I think we all find it difficult to go out at first, because the world has changed so horribly and drastically. Just rest and look after yourself for now.
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