Hello All, My Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer last November 2019 but told he could have TACE targeted chemotherapy, which is quite successful in giving you a few more years of life. Dad was hopeful and had a great attitude in dealing with the news. Dad needed 3 treatments with one each month for three months. It took the medics 4 months to organise the first treatment which took place at the beginning of March 2020. Dad’s second and third treatments were then ‘postponed indefinitely’ due to Covid. Poor Dad was finally asked back to hospital for a second treatment nearly five months after the first one but by then the cancer had spread and it was too late. Dad went downhill rapidly afterwards and died on the 21st September. It’s so sad that he spent the last 6 months of his life mainly shielding (like so many others who were sick) and unable to have treatment due to Covid. I know I am lucky to have visited him each month for a day (he lived 4 hours away) during these Covid times and to have told him how much I appreciate what he gave me in life and how much I loved him - but it still hurts that he is not here and had his life potentially shortened due to Covid. I miss him enormously as my friend and father. There was a rift sadly in my family after my parents divorced 15 years ago and I didn’t get to see my Dad for quite a few years during this time. We reunited properly two years ago and I know I am lucky for the time that we did have. I was also with Dad when he passed away. He was so brave and sang a few days before he died!
The finality of death is so hard and my heart goes out to anyone else grieving. I found it particularly hard how you see the world just carrying on after something so sad and so significant in your life has happened. People have been kind in getting in touch though. Some want to talk about it more which I appreciate. It’s been about 4 weeks now and I am noticing how people mention Dad less - which I guess is inevitable as people don’t want to make you more sad, but equally you feel the sadness and still want to talk about it at times too. I realize that grieving is quite a lonely experience and takes time. Forums like this are great though as you can connect with people going through it too. Thank you ALL
Hi crankshaft. I can only speak from my daughters point of view to you as she has 4months ago now watched her dad pass from what seemed like a very quick diagnosis to passing. She is still trying to come to terms with what will never be. Birthdays, christmas, walking down the isle. Basically just being there when she need to chat. Also the guilt she feels because there was not anything that could be done to save him.
There is not really anything that can help with the sadness of grief. No words can bring them back. But eventually we begin to remember some of the fun times and these slowly replace bits of the sadness. Obviously this all takes time and there is never a set date for this. But the tears do slow up for the most part for some.
Just try to remember your dad would have wished you to be happy in life because as a parent thats high up on the wish list for our children.