Sadness and desperation

Hello and this is my first time on here

My beautiful and loving wife passed away only a week ago and I’m going through a multitude of emotions including pain, sorrow, grief, panic, loneliness and desperation
But my overriding thoughts are of sadness that her life was dramatically cut short as she was such a lovely and caring person who deserved to have a long and happy future
Thankfully she did not suffer and had a quiet, peaceful and dignifies passing
My grieving had already started weeks ago when the cancer spread to her liver and the specialist told me it was not curable and likely to continue spreading
Like many others I still talk to her every day and include her in the way I make decisions and I guess I’m prepared for the pain and loneliness to continue in the future
My family circle is totally supportive yet the pain never goes away - I know this should subside over time yet in m any time I want to hold on to the yearning for her company
I have my dogs and cat to look after and this is a comfort and the responsibility keeps me focuses - My days are long and the loneliness intense but this acts as a testament to how much I loved, valued and respected my lovely wife


Hello Martin,

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your wife. It sounds as though things are very tough at the moment and you are feeling overwhelmed.

I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.

Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here:

Take care,


Online Community team

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Hello Martin, It is so hard and you will still be numb at the moment as well. I am a couple of months down the track and the yearning for my husband just gets more intense each day. I still don’t know why our lives were shattered - he went for a run and collapsed - and I can’t believe he’s gone. Like you, I have good family and friends but no one can make this ok. I am sad for the fact that we never got to retirement, we never got to carry out our plans together. He deserved to carry on and do the things he waited to do until our children left home. His passing has shattered so many people - his mother is now in hospital and may never come home again. My life has turned from one I loved to one where I just plod through each day without purpose or motivation. Keep posting on here - people will be supportive. Sending hugs to you as you navigate this terrible time.


yeah life is cruel. Just can’t understand how a perfectly happy family can be destroyed so quickly. My wife passed 2 months ago. I too experienced a myriad of emotions like you and the initial numbness and paper works dragged me through the early days. Now I am beginning to recognize that I’ve lost my love one, the soulmate who spend 32 years with me, who was deeply in love with me, forever. The empty house, empty chair and empty bed changed our lovely homely into a cold prison. I feel the pain 24/7. And I see little hope for future.
We’ve been through ups and downs and we built a loving relationship despite all the hardship. It was taken away abruptly and I was left with this ruined life. What’s the point of all that effort? is that the reward god gives to good people?


@martinh hi I am so very sorry for your loss I lost my beautiful partner pauline just over 5 weeks ago I talk to her all the time and I don’t see that stopping and longing for her company is always there I have a dog and 2 cats that give me purpose and a reason to get up everyday its good you have them keep talking on here everyone here understands stay safe take care

Hi Martin
So very sorry for your loss. My husband died two months ago from bowel cancer that spread to his liver. It is so hard to carry on without their love and support like you | have a dog and cat who keep me going. I don’t think you ever get over the loss just try and live with it.

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Hello Anabelle
Thank you so much for your kind words which are very comforting
My wife died from breast cancer that spread to her liver and was fortunate not to have a distressing end of life experience
The house feels so empty now - especially at night and I’m left in a bubble looking out on the rest of the world
My two dogs and two cats have been a lifeline and I still have a purpose in life by sharing my my love and attention with them
I do hope in time you may replace the horrible feelings with many joyful memories of happy times with your husband
You are in my thoughts

Thank you so much Martin like you I find the house so very empty I try very hard to keep positive but it is very difficult I know its early days.

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Hi Annabelle

Don’t you thinks its strange that nobody knows anyone on here - yet we are all completely united by our grief
Perhaps one day our empty house my become crowded with lovely memories of the past
Take care

Hello Martin
I am sorry to read about the loss of your loved one.
Life won’t ever be the same. It’s a whole new ball game, a new life we didn’t want or ask for.
It’s not easy navigating through it and there will be lots of upset along the way with unexpected glimmers of kindness and comfort thrown in from people you won’t expect.
Remain open to hope.
Be brave.
Stay resilient.
Take care

Thank you so much for your very kind words - they are truly appreciated

Martin x

Yes it is it is so good to chat online to other people who know what its like to lose a loved one it
does help so much and like you I do hope that eventually the pain will subside and I can move on to remembering the lovely memories of the past. Keep strong