Hi I’m new here but had to post to see if anyone was in a similar situation. Back in 1992 when I was very young I had a relationship with someone I’d known as a friend for a few years , this only lasted a few months but we both knew we were soulmates, we had to end things at the time though neither of us really wanted to , we met very briefly once in 1995 but life moved on and we both married other people but stayed in touch though never saw each other again since 1995 , odd conversations online etc but we both knew we had to do the right thing . We both knew we were soulmates though , but unfortunately my soulmate got ill and recovered then got ill again and died 3 years ago gone June . I never got to lay my true feelings out to him or say goodbye, I couldn’t go to the funeral or anything. I communicated with his Father but then he passed away also 2 years ago . I am devastated inside and often break down in tears as I am writing this . I can’t get over this loss and the feeling that I wished with all my heart that we could have just been together I loved him so much . Is anyone else in any similar situation of having to keep your grief quiet ?
Hello Early5,
I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds as though this was a very special person in your life and it must be so difficult to feel you have to hide how you’re feeling.
Your post brought to mind another conversation from a few weeks ago that might be worth having a look at here: https://support.sueryder.org/community/losing-partner/love-if-my-life
What you’re experiencing is often called disenfranchised grief. There’s an excellent website called What’s Your Grief that has a number of articles about this: https://whatsyourgrief.com/?s=disenfranchised
Sometimes it can make such a difference to know that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling and I hope the conversation I’ve linked to and the articles on What’s Your Grief help.
Keep talking to us here too, as long as it helps you. This is a safe and supportive space to share how you’re feeling.
Take care and let me know if I can support you in any way.
Best wishes,
Eleanor