Sadness

I am so so sad . It feels like it has just hit me that I will never see my mum again. We have her service arranged but its not until 3rd May. I feel like im stuck in some kind of parallel universe, one where i want to go about my day as if nothing has happened and the other where my grief just overwhelms me. Yesterday I woke up crying from my sleep ,and the rest of the day was spent with tears cathing me off guard. I also have guilt that im not doing things right or that i should be thinking of Dad too , i lost him in Dec both Dad & Mums passings were sudden & unexpected and only 4 months apart . My sister passed in 2011 and my only comfort is knowing they are all together again. Why did this happen , why me? I have so many questions I have so many friends & family offer to help , yet i feel so so alone

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Sending you many hugs :people_hugging: :heart: We dont just lose our loved ones once, but every time that realisation and pain hits us afresh :sleepy: I dont have any answers but just wanted to reach out and let you know you’re not alone :heart:

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Thankyou Ally , sending hugs right back to you , grief is horrible journey

Aww I just read your post and wanted to reach out to you. I went through the overwhelming feeling of sadness just like you are doing now and it still creeps up on me 15months on. It is heartbreaking. You have lost so many people in your life.
The only thing i can suggest is to do what i did and that was a few things
First keep posting on here any time you want and as often as you want. Someone will notice and reply. Even in the middle of the night when you feel so alone.
Secondly just take each morning and each afternoon at a time. Dont plan anything except caring for yourself. Put yourself first in everything you do. You have to keep strong because there is no choice. Your mum would want you to be strong.
I made an area of my lounge devoted to my lovely mum . I put a photo candle flowers a cross and her favourite things on display and sometimes well often I would go there in teh middle of the night and i would feel close to her. It is so so difficult right now for you and nothing anyone can tell you or say will help.
Just remember there are so many people on here who understand so reach out and I can honestly say this site for me was and still is a life saver.
Without this site i would never have got through it
Thinking of you and sending so much love to you x
Deborah x

Thankyou for the lovely message , its a rollercoaster of emotions. I had to sit tonight and upload photos for the service that was hard but I smiled too as we have so many good memories together , I’m sorry for your loss i dont think anyone can truly understand until they are in that same situation , we may think we understand but you really dont until your sadly put there. My sister was called Deborah or Debs as we would call her x

Hi Girlwonder,
Aww wow about your sisters name. Its like i was meant to message you.
I believe in signs and have had many mainly to do with electricity. Wil tell you again about them.
I always make small targets for each day and more often than not I stick to them but didnt in the beginning. Start with making small easy achievable targets One of mine was very basic like getting out of bed , making a cuppa, even having a shower because i simply couldn’t function. Try to do small steps each day.
I look back and realise now what a bad way I was in. Nothing comes near to teh awful pain of grief.
Do you work?
Did you live with your mum ?
Sometimes its lovely to talk and post about our mums and share how wonderful they were and still are.
Its hard doing everything for the service and after its over you will feel so flat and then it will hit you more. Take each day ok and break it into morning afternoon and night and do whatever you can think of to get through the day. Sleep eat and do whatever you want whenever you want ok because right now its a survival situation until you get to fell a tiny bit stronger.
One of my targets is to write on here every day and i have some fantastic people that i message who really keep me going and understand when I am sad. No one will ever judge you so feel free to post whatever you want. We are here to help each other in any way we can.
Do you have any counselling groups near you ? I live in West wales and as far as I know there isn’t much in my area so I havent been to any. Maybe you could find out and try them if there are any. I am not brilliant in opening up about my feelings in a groups situation but on here i can type away to my hearts content. Even reading other posts helps me even though i dont reply. We can all learn something that will help us with this cruel horrible journey.
I shall look out for you and keep in touch
Deborah x

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The first thing i thought of was when i saw your name it was a wee sign from her. The last week i keep hearing her song playing on the raido and you never hear it on the radio its as if she is telling me that they are all back together . I get great comfort from that but im still so so sad that they had to leave me. I have a great workplace infact im aiming to go and visit them today for a wee while. I thinknat the moment im so busy dealing with things that im still in denial then it hits me hard when ive sat down and im not busy doing things , thats hard but i know its natural . I hope your doing ok today too . Feel free to private message me if you need to chat also x

Hello
I feel utmost sadness at losing my mum. I feel it just gets worse as time goes on.
I listen to songs my mum loved. Sometimes I just could be walking down the road it hits me if I hear some song and I look at people with their mums laughing and smiling and I’m wishing that was me walking with my mum. I miss her lovely smile and her humour my mum would always find humour in things that weren’t even funny. She had a beautiful way of putting people at their ease. A room would light up when she walked in. People loved her

@Steven Your mum sounds like a lovely person , you must have aome great memories of your time together. I understand the feelings you are having it feels very unfair that we have to go through it, and you question why me? Well, I know I question that daily and so many what ifs ? Hope you are doing ok, and if you need to chat, please reach out

Hi girl wonder.
I’m not doing to bad it’s a lovely day in work helps a great deal. I hope you’re doing ok.
Well I had a mum I could be immensely proud of. She was only 70 when she left me. Way too young in my view. She’s missing so much
Yeah I do have wonderful memories there’s so many that makes me remember her. This is hard writing this

My mum was 70 when she passed also and i agree way too young. Work keeps you busy and sometimes a distraction is what we need at times

Well I work In a very high pressured job as a civil enforcement officer it’s extremely difficult to do

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Hi Bluebell,
I haven’t come across any of those type of posts that say that but I agree with you that grief is grief no matter who passes.
Deborah x