Hi there everyone I’m Paul I’m from raglan in South wales I’m not long lost my wife to cancer and I’m really not coping with it at all, I’ve got lots of friends around me who are brilliant but I’m missing everything thing about her, I’m in tears now writing this
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The people in this group seem so kind and understanding. You aren’t alone in your feelings & those on here can empathise with your pain.
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I lost my beloved husband on 23rd November 2024 to cancer, he was from south Wales also.
After 22 years I feel like half of me is missing, I feel cheated out of 30 or 40 more years of happiness. He was only 50.
You don’t expect to become a widow at 51.
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Hi poppet I’m in the same boat as you Sammy was 53 and I’m a widower at 50 it’s horrible isn’t it, people tell me it will get easier in time and I’m sure there right but at this moment in time I’m heartbroken broken
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Thank you KitKat I just need people to talk to sometimes who know how I’m feeling
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It hurts doesn’t it knowing that you feel like you’ve been robbed of a future with them, we had so many plans and dreams and now they’re gone.
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Yes your right there’s so many more things we wanted to do,we done a few things over the past few years but having no one to share my remaining years is making me feel quite lost I suppose, she always said she would give me a sign she’s ok after she passed and there was a heart shaped ornament in our bedroom on the wall and I was downstairs about 3 days after she had gone and I heard a smash I went upstairs and it was smashed on the floor there was no way it could of just come of the wall so I like to believe it was a sign from her telling me she’s ok and with our dog Henry who had passed away earlier last year
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I would give anything to have a sign from my husband. Ive had nothing and I miss him so much.
I’m sure you will get a sign from him soon telling you he is ok x
I hope so, it just feels like hes forgotten me, I tell him every night goodnight and promise me you don’t forget me and wait for me darling.
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I talk to Sammy all the time I know she’s listening and still loves me like I love her, and your husband will be exactly the same I’m sure of it
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Realise that I’m new here - and your input yesterday really helped (birthday blues) - but here’s a suggestion. Don’t expect anything dramatic - things that transpire are simple, fleeting, straightforward (& sometimes a bit ditsy). Things like flashes of light, unusual sounds, a feeling of touch. Or even a few bars of mobile ringtones when nobody’s there & a call log is blank. May I suggest that you light a candle & send the energy up to creation - in whatever form - & let him know that you understand he has people to re-meet, places to go & things to see; but that you would adore a quick pop in to see you. Then await passively. Sweet dreams.
@Spooner so sorry for your loss. Everyone on here knows what you’re going through so reach out whenever you need to, someone will answer. I lost my wonderful husband on the 29th December at only 56, mourning the future we would have had and he now won’t is devastating, and I’m sure you’re feeling the same. I’m just trying to take one day at a time, some days are easier and then on another I just cry, guess we just have to go with the flow and hope time at least takes the edge off the pain, a lot of people have told me that is true and right now I’ll take that. Do you have family and friends for support? Most importantly take care of yourself
Hi allih
Yes it’s so hard and upsetting at the moment I’m the same as you I will have good days then bad ones, I’ve been on a Downer since Friday but I’m feeling a bit better today, I’m just hoping I get more of the better days, I’ve got family and friends around me it’s just i like speaking to people like yourself who have ans and are going through the same situation as me, because unless you go through I don’t think you can really understand it x
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@Spooner I think for me, if I’m not with family, the weekends are the worst, do you think maybe it’s more difficult for you at the weekend. I go shopping and all I see is couples together, and I hate to say it, but I get angry with them. I now plan ahead to keep myself busy at the weekend, now the weather’s better I’m getting out in the garden, do you have any hobbies or things you’ve always wanted to do? This forum is wonderful because unless you’re going through losing a partner you really can’t understand how painful and complex this journey is. I’m positive time will ease these feelings, I know we will never be the same again and always miss our loved ones, but I’m determined to keep living a good life and make my husband proud. He was so ill and tried so hard to stay, so for me if I don’t keep trying to move forward it’s seems disrespectful to him. Having said that though, if you have sad days you need to allow that to happen (it’s part of the process) and as long as you can pull yourself up after then that’s all ok. I’m always happy to chat if ever you need it, you’re not alone
Thank you so much, I was exactly the same as you I went out to my local town yesterday and saw couples just going about there way and felt so sad went back to the car and cried my eyes out, Sammy was very ill as well she hard terminal cancer she had been battling cancer for 10 years and terminal for 3 , we enjoyed ourselves the last couple of years until she was to ill to do anything, she always told me to get on and enjoy my life,but that’s the last thing I want to be doing at the moment, but I will eventually and I know I will see her again, I love getting out in the countryside and walking, lucky enough I live in the countryside I really seems to clear my mind, thanks for listening I like talking to you, like everyone on here we’re all singing off the same hymn sheet x
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@Spooner gosh you have had such a long journey together, 10 years is such a long time to battle that awful disease, I’m so sorry you both had to go through that. Yes you will do things again, as and when you are ready. I remember when my husband Paul passed I couldn’t look at a photo of him, I had to put them away, I would just break down every time. Now I can, sometimes I still cry but sometimes I can smile and remember the good times, baby steps, but in the right direction, we will all get there but in the meantime we have to be kind and look after ourselves.
@Spooner also getting outside in nature is a wonderful thing, I feel lighter when I’m outside and I feel it is true that nature is a healer, how lucky that you live in the country. We have a garden and a new allotment so I think I will be spending a lot of time there (there is a lot of work to do), the warm sun shining and birds singing are such a wonderful thing.
Yes it’s lovely when the suns out and the weather is nice it just lifts your mood and we’re going the right way hopefully we will have a good summer, I hope you don’t mind me asking you were do you live are you in a city, I’m from South Wales near the wye valley I don’t know if you have heard of it, it’s beautiful
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@Spooner I’ve sent you a message.