Saying Good Bye

So i sat with Dave and gave him roses and a card for valentine’s- tomorrow (since it’s past midnight) is his funeral - this week as moved so quickly compared to last week. 2 weeks today - it seems like a lifetime.


So sorry for your loss

It’s makes it that much harder when it’s a juxtaposition to what should be a happy, special occasion together

I spent my birthday with my partner at chapel of rest, also just a day before her funeral - I did find some solace - if you can call it that - that I was spending one last birthday with her.
The time I spent alone with her at chapel of rest, I felt, helped me through the funeral somehow

Stay strong and hope you have a support structure to help you through this part

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I lost the love of my life Monday morning. She passed away peacefully in my arms after battling cancer for 5 months. I’m now making her funeral arrangements So difficult. Want to get everything right for her. Taking her clothes to the funeral directors today that they will put her in. So difficult.


i’m so sorry. it’s hard and there’s so much to do - take time and just do what you can.
my dreams at night about Dave dying are horrible - i’m dreading the funeral - you are right about wanting to make it an occasion to be proud of
Look after yourself

Thanks Beverley, We were both so scared how her passing would be so so grateful for her that it seemed to be peaceful. No DNR in place so they had to ask me not to. So difficult. Now feel so alone no matter how many people are around me. I was with Karen 42 years, since we were 18.


May God send you angels, comfort and support you at this time. Life time, because of your love together. I understand… Take care.

Hiya, I am so sorry that you are both in this awful situation. My gorgeous Alan had a catastrophic cardiac event at Christmas. No warning, no symptoms just gone in an instant. So I am 8 weeks in. I absolutely dreaded the funeral but I decided early on that it was going to be something that Alan would want and not to worry about anybody’s opinions. The people who knew him would love it. And they did. And they carried me through (even when the church going aunties were tutting while ‘highway to hell’ blasted out!). It seems abit dreamlike now but I guess my message here is that I got through it and here I am at the other side . Your friends and family will be there for you, lean on them when you need to and do exactly what feels right for you at the time. There is no right or wrong. You are not alone, take care x

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@Derek364 sorry for your loss

I also lost my partner to cancer - metastatic colon cancer - after 11 month battle

Very early for you and remember all too well how difficult this part is - I was also petrified of something going wrong at the funeral.

Stay strong

May GOD give you the strength to process your emotions and pass through this situation.

I experienced similar emotions on 22 Aug 2023 when I lost my wife to Cancer after she fought for 5 months and overall for 6.5 years. I could see the pain, grief and severe depression that she went through. She stopped talking to us for 4 weeks before she passed away. But I am fortunate that my son and me were holding her arms when she breathed her last and that is the memory I have of her. I cannot remember the happier days spent with her. Maybe its too early. Many people just die of cardiac arrest or in accidents in seconds and the loved ones of cancer survivors have to endure brutal 2-6 months of emotional torture seeing their loved ones slowly degrading physically and emotionally.

I wish GOD could grant us something better than seeing our loved ones slowly being carried away to death-land.


Hi Arvia so sorry for your loss I’m a bit further down the line it’s nearly 10 months for me but my husband’s choice of music was" Road to hell "then Arthur Brown “Fire” and last Born to be Wild everyone loved his sense of humour

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So sorry for your loss.
My lovely wife passed five weeks ago, so know how hard it is organising a funeral.
Nothing prepares you for having to look out an outfit for your wife to wear for her own funeral. I feel for you.

So sorry for your loss Plantman I was lucky my daughter organised the funeral as my husband had told us exactly what he wanted also what he wanted to wear he had a weird sense of humour so my daughter took his t-shirt with the Grimm Riper on it saying time’s up to the funeral directors they remarked on what a sense of humour he had he certainly was a character.
Hope all goes well for you and take care

Thanks Plantman, Although I am dreading Karen’s funeral I am putting my energy into getting it as right as I can for her. I’m actually dreading more what is to come after her funeral when I have nothing to focus on. We both took early retirement.

Derek, You are doing the right thing concentrating on the funeral right now. See it as a right of passage that has to happen.
Do her proud.
I found the thought of the funeral was worse than the actual day itself.
I cared for my wife for her last couple of years and it took its toll on me. Susan made me promise that when she passed , i would be good to myself , that she wanted me to be happy and that is what im keeping in mind.


Hi , when my husband died , it’s over two years ago . I wouldn’t say goodbye to him . It was a see you later , as we always said . I have to believe I will see him later , when my time is up . I have also found that the build up to special days , birthdays / anniversary’s was worse than the actual day . I over think and worry about them . But on the actual day , I seem to cope of course still with a lot of tears and heartbreak . I know I will carry my husbands love with me always xtake carex


“See you later” sounds so much better than good bye. I think I will start writing her eulogy today. So much I want to say.


Well today is the day for Dave - he was a runner and had so many running friends I’ve made a medal tree and my son and son in law have taken all all the photos and comments off face book that people have left.
He would have loved it -


Hi Bevanne21 so sorry for you loss but that is amazing and yes Dave would have loved it take care

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@Bevanne21 beautiful, albeit poignant, tribute
Making it yourself makes it very personal and unique