My mum died in November after being diagnosed with cancer just two months before. We didn’t know how ill she was, I took her to A&E because we thought she had a chest infection. Turns out she was riddled with cancer.
The day I took her to A&E we were meant to be going to Devon to see my Grandma. It’s about a 5 hour drive from where we live. She was in her 90’s so we tried to visit as much as we could. When I arrived at my mums house to go to Devon she asked me to take her hospital. I knew she must be really poorly for her to ask me to do that and cancel our trip.
While mum was in hospital my grandma had a stroke, a very bad one and because mum was ill I wasn’t able to visit. Then mum died by which time my grandma didn’t know who anyone was, I felt it was too upsetting to visit.
My grandma died last week.
It was a blessing in the end as she had no quality of life.
My uncle phoned tonight to ask if I’d accompany him in the funeral car. Without thinking I agreed straight away. My dad (his brother) died 9 years ago and my Aunt (his sister) is very poorly with Parkinson’s dementia and in a home.
Now I’m really scared. Scared because I haven’t yet grieved for my mum and scared because I also haven’t grieved for my grandma.
What happens if it all comes out that day? I need to be strong for the rest of my family (many many cousins) and am worried I won’t be.
I’m also scared that I haven’t grieved
Is this normal?
When my dad died it was very sudden and just 7 weeks after my mother in law, which was also sudden and both unexpected. My dad was only 62 and my mother in law 69. I was distraught after they died
It took months and months and months to get over it
I was very depressed and everything was very difficult
So why now do I feel so okay???
Will I grieve? Is it normal not to grieve? I’m sad but not distraught.
Is this normal??? It’s scaring me a bit. And scaring me that one day (like at my grandmas funeral) it might just hit me when I don’t want it to.
Thank you
. You are suffering, and people will recognise that.