I lost my Dad 4 weeks ago today. He was diagnosed 5 years ago with idopathic pulmonary fibrosis disease but you wouldnt have thought there was anything wrong. He was rushed to hospital due to having an acute exacerbation on the lung which there was a procedure to do for my dad which we all kept positive and seemed to have been going really well. Until a week later when his lungs collapsed. He was then in end of life which 2 days later he passed. Im 34 years old and had to watch my father in a horrible state which i have bad dreams about and now have to sleep with a light on. My family and husband are going through there own grief and no one really wants to talk about it. But i am having the hardest time dealing with it. Me and my dad were really close i was his little girl and he was the person i always went to for advice and now thats gone. Even though its been 4 weeks i still feel the same as i did 4 weeks ago. Im sad, angry and jealous all in one mixed emotions. We havent had the funeral yet its going to be next week. Im just finding it all hard i cant look at myself in the mirror without crying as i can see my dad in me. I feel like a piece of me is missing and im scared of moving on without him and having milestones without him.
My heart goes out to you, it’s hard being stuck with memories of trauma along with the loss, I struggle myself. I’m probably not the best for advice but I’m always here to listen, helps me talking to others who understand your grief, rather than those that just sympathise.
The grief is still raw and you’ve yet to have funeral. I hope you have some strong support to help you thru the day.
when you are ready try some help if it suits you, I found this app the best but everyone is different
You are not alone x