This is hard for me to write but I need to reach out as I feel so lost. I’m currently looking after my dad at his home on end of life care (cancer) 24 hours along side my mother. He’s at the end now and I sit watching him panicking he’s going to be taken away any day I don’t think I can cope, I’m meant to be the stong one who holds it all together ect. But I don’t feel strong, he was diagnosed 6 weeks ago with pancreatic cancer and very fast declined in the recent weeks, this panic is setting in and making me want to just run away and leave. I feel lost and I’m not sure who to talk to or if this is normal?
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Amyhaddy12, I so sorry I do feel for you. My daughter would probably be the best person to answer this. She helped me look after her dad. From what she has said since the panic you are feeling is totally normal.
Just be together, hold your dad’s hand tell him you love him and assure him you will look after your mum. Just be there for each other. It’s hard but we were there for each other at the end to say goodbye. Please look after yourself, you will be in my thoughts and prayers and stay strong, your mum will need you in the days ahead. You will need each other.
Love Debbie X
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Dear Amyhaddy12
How brave of you to reach out on here and talk of your feelings and what is happening to your dear Dad. You are going through such an awful time, but a very special one, though it doesn’t feel like it.
You haven’t had time to come to terms with your Dad’s illness yet, nor has your Mum. It must be a profound shock. That alone is a lot to deal with. Just be there for both your parents, your presence is enough and Mum will treasure that you are with her as will your Dad. You don’t have to be the strong one, honour your grief it will help in the future.
We have all experienced loss on here, felt the panic, wanted to be somewhere else, that is why this forum is so helpful. Make the most of each moment you have left with your Dad; value those precious hours, where you can sit quietly with him, hold his hand and talk about some of the things you’ve done together, or tell him how much he meant to you.
If you are struggling a d want to talk to someone, call the Samaritans on 116123, or txt Shout 85258 - and keep reaching out on here. People are very caring, and only too happy to be of help.
With love
Miche24
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Thank you Debbie x
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My dad died 3 weeks ago of renal cancer. Just be with your dad when you can even if you’re panicking and don’t know what to do or say. Hold his hand. Use a mouth care tool to moisten his lips and make him comfortable. Tell him how much you love him, over and again. Read him something that would make him smile, share photographs or stories. You will have time afterwards to deal with your loss but you won’t regret being with your dad in his last days.
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You are so right in what you say Briony, and I’m sure your words will be of great help to Amy. I’m so sorry you have lost your Dad too, and for you to reach out to another at this time means a lot.
with affection,
Miche24
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Hi there I’m so sorry that’s this is happening My dad passed away in November last year he had lung cancer and it was so quick from when we found out 4 weeks I was with my dad right till the end just be there spend as much time as you can hold your dads hand give him all the love and cuddles you can tell him how much you love him and take care of your self 🫶🏻🫶🏻
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