Scared

Dear all,
I feel like I’m living with intense fear since losing my partner.
Is this normal? I feel so scared inside, especially when I think of being physically on my own.
I feel the need to be around people all of the time.
I wasn’t sure if this was normal?
I only feel safe when I’m at work but these intense feelings are with me all the time.
I feel paralysed by this emotion.
Thank you

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Hi, lost my wife 6 weeks ago, i get the same panic attack type feelings when i think that I’ll never see her again.
Although she was disabled, she prided herself on always having tea ready for me when i came home from work, there was always a lovely smell when i came in the door, now nothing.
Its the little things and the loneliness that hurt the most.

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From the day my husband died I have slept with a night light (for children) and the bedroom door open. I haven’t slept with the door open since I was a child, so that’s fear I suppose. But today when I had a problem with a company that wouldn’t give me a refund (when they should) I got really anxious and heard my heart pounding in my ears. I didn’t realise how anxious I must have become. I suppose this is normal? I felt as if I absolutely couldn’t cope, which in itself is a scary feeling. These negative feelings just seem to go on and on.

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@No-words, I have been told during counselling that feelings of anxiousness, fear and not being able to cope, are part of grieving.
I am not half the person I was before my darling husband passed away. I no longer have any confidence and panic at the least thing.
I had to have a new bathroom blind fitted this morning and I was a ‘bag of nerves’.
The huge black hole that is by my side every minute of every day is not getting any smaller after six months. The thought of living like this is making me feel desperate.
Will we ever have any peace?
xxx

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I really don’t know if we’ll ever find peace.
I wish I could just stop the thoughts of remembering how I used to be from coming in my head.
I just spend the day wishing I wasn’t part of this nightmare anymore.
I just don’t have the courage to do anything about it.
X

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To be honest @AlysonandSteve, I cannot imagine having peace again without my darling husband but, I try to be positive, really without hope.
I, too, cannot stop remembering how I used to be and how our life was together.
I used to be so organised and got on with what needed to be done. Not now, most of the time I can’t be bothered and think “I will do it tomorrow”.
I have just had a mental breakdown trying to download an app!
xx

Like you and many others on here I know the insanity of grief,it’s three weeks since my wife passed away,(I can’t even believe that I’m writting those words,) and I have spent every single day asking her to come back and help me. I get those split second insane thoughts that she hasn’t gone and then I hear the silence and can’t see her so I know she has. It’s terrible,simply agony,from being a very happy person with a loving partner I now spend time on the seafront wondering why I shouldn’t just walk in.
Somehow we have to make sense of our loss but it is going to take time and be painful, if you find the secret please let me know.
Best wishes on your journey.

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@miker, I will never make sense of my loss however much time I have left. I too, was happy with my husband and our life. I am now a pathetic, miserable, anxious with no confidence, etc., woman who feels like she has nowhere to go.
I know from reading other posts, most of us feel the same.
To have a great life with our partners snatched away is cruel. I keep asking myself what I have done to deserve it.
xxx

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Hi @Rome18 I keep asking what did my husband do to deserve it? The answer is nothing as with all of us on here. Take care.x

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@AlysonandSteve I don’t know if being scared is normal but I can certainly relate. I feel my heart racing and stressing all the time over silly things. It’s having to be responsible for everything and not having that one person to share it with. It’s just so hard.

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