Scattering his ashes

I am leaving tomorrow to drive 2.5miles up to the Black Isle to scatter my husbands ashes. He dies on 29th February of 3 different tumours. He was 6wks from diagnosis until he died at 64. We had only been married 2years.
I am doing this on my own (had lots of offers of company) as the place is only meaningful to us both. I really don’t know where I will find the strength but I have to do this one last act for him. He was in the navy and I am scattering them at sea so he goes back to where he started at the age of 16. I am hoping this will give me some closure but lots have said it doesn’t :sleepy:

Dear Shonzie,
What a beautiful thing to do and I can understand you wanting to be on your own to do it.
I don’t want to patronise you but as you will be in a different frame of mind than when you normally drive, please be extra careful.
I hope the scattering of the ashes goes well and brings you peace.
My thoughts are with you.
Hugs, Ann

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Ann, I am just off the phone to my mother and she just said the same thing. I know it will be hard returning where we got engaged just 4years ago but I promise to stop if I get upset and to be extra careful when driving.
I don’t suppose I will get much sleep either so will pull over if tired too. No time frame so not in a rush.
Thank you for caring Ann . X

I will be thinking about you tomorrow :kissing_heart:

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How could I not? You sound lovely, and so sad. It WILL get better, they tell me. My response? Well, it can’t get much worse!
Thinking of you tomorrow and I am glad you are going to drive carefully for your mum - if no-one else.
If you feel like it, do tell me how it went, but I will understand if I don’t hear from you. No pressure.
Love Ann

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I wish you well. Drive carefully, we’ve lostbtoo many good people. I haven’t bought June home yet - maybe this week. I know where she wants to be scattered, but that won’y happen until she’s been home where she belongs or a little while.

I will think of you tomorrow

D

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I too have the ashes of my soulmate , at the house (doesn’t feel like home anymore ) and am not sure if ever i will feel the time is right to scatter them , it will be a wrench .

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Hi Shonzie, i hope all goes well for the scattering of your husband’s ashes. I understand wanting to visit your special place alone. I would too. You will find more strength as time goes on because you will be doing it for him. Stay on the site as there are lots of lovely people willing to help you and help each other. You are in my thoughts today.

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Hi Dave. Thanks. I didn’t like having him home it just felt weird. He should be where he belongs out in the sea. Weather up here looking crap for tomorrow so might have to wait until Wed :frowning:
If it doesn’t feel right doing it now then I will take him home and wait until the time is right. Beautiful drive up in the sunshine. Scotland is beautiful when the sun shines x

Hi Jean. Thank you, I will need lots of strength. I had a couple of wobbly moments on the drive up but got 3/4 of way and have stopped here. Will stay the night and head off in the morning. Too much to drive and arrive there in one day. Xx

Hi Geoff. Thank you. Arrived safe for tonight. Do the rest of the drive tomorrow. Everyone so kind thinking of me. You will know when it feels right and when you do we will all be here to help you as you have helped me xx

It’s a lovely and horrible thing to do at the same time , find strength in that you are giving your loved one the send off they would have wanted and it’s so wonderful to be able to give them that

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I think each of us has to do what we fell is right, when we feel the time is right. People who advise what and when to do mean well, they’re trying to help us, but we all know when it’s right for us.

Take care, will be thinking of you

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Thank you for all your love and strength you sent me. I am back from up North and I can truly say, that was the most upsetting thing I have had to go through since his funeral. I felt like I lost him all over again. I really didn’t think I had anymore tears to shed but I must have filled a bucket on Tuesday. I also feel like I have left him there and come home. Didn’t help that I came home to all my 60th birthday cards still up. :sleepy:
We have now to face the scattering of the other half of his ashes on Sunday as his Mum wants them scattered on his Dad’s grave. I am not sure I have the strength to go through this again. His mum has said I don’t have to go but my daughter thinks I might regret it if I don’t.

Shonzie, I feel so sad for the pain you must be in. We can all understand why all the tears on Tuesday and the fact that you feel you have left him there. It was his wish to be there so you did the right thing and with such courage. Do what you feel is right on Sunday as it is entirely your choice.I understand the 60th birhday sadness too as my husband was cremated the day before my birthday and his ashes were returned the day before our wedding anniversary. Please keep sharing your feelings. We are all here to help.

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Thank you Jean. x

My intention is to be scattered where ever I put tee eventually we can be together in that place

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