Searching for new best friend

My soulmate passed last June, since then I’ve cried every day for short periods, but mainly just shut it out and stuck my head down into my work. I joined a few dating sites, not looking for love and romance as such… I feel totally dead and hollow in that department, and don’t think I can ever be that way again. What I miss most is that person to talk to, that person to share things with… and most of all, someone that needs me and my time :slight_smile: But sadly all the sites I joined were rubbish, I wanted to make new friends, especially those that were also widowed. I bought a new motorbike, thought it would be nice to take someone out for a ride, platonic… Just feel so lost, like it’s impossible to feel the way I used to feel, I honestly don’t think I will ever find another I can be myself with… Are there any sites like that? My girl left me a few messages, and the main one was to find happiness and a new friend I can look after :slight_smile:

I think I’ve done well to even still be here, so I must not let her down, or myself… I’ve got a lot to give as a friend… and a soulmate. Finding someone that understands though… impossible.

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Hiya Gav, brave post this. Totally respect your honesty. My gorgeous boy passed away before Christmas but I met him on a dating site a few years before so it is possible! (I did meet some very very strange people on there as well though! You have to persevere and that can be soul destroying). I’m a big believer in fate and I think that although you may not find the same relationship that you had with your partner just because something is different doesn’t mean it can’t also be good. One thing is for sure; we only get the one life and yours is in front of you. You have done marvellously well and your girl would be so proud of you. I suspect that she would want you to be happy. Always good to have someone to care for and to care for you in return. I can’t imagine our gorgeous partners would want us to be miserable. Far better to live, laugh and love if we can. I have just been to a concert with friends which was fabulous but coming home and locking the door to silence is not the best. I have my music on now but it’s not great being alone. I would say don’t give up but also don’t put yourself under pressure. What’s meant for you will happen. I don’t mean that won’t take some effort but it will absolutely be worth it. If you want to message me please feel free. Abit of mutual support never goes amiss! You are not alone, take care x

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@Gav
Just read your post.
I think you’re a brave man putting a post like that on here. Being open and honest.

Maybe dating sites are not the place to look.
Start by talking and making friends with people on here. I think that way when you’re having a rough day, it will be understood.

Here if you want to message and chat. Be good to talk to someone. I spend my days on my own. I have no family as such. I have a stepdaughter, but she has her own life.

Have faith in yourself and let things happen naturally

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Chapter 2™ - A community built for widows & widowers

Try here Gav , everyone is in the same boat :+1:t3:

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Morning :slight_smile: You’re absolutely right, I’ve been searching for somewhere I already have. I did find it hard here, so many people including me with nothing but super sadness to share… but I was a bit wrong, I’m now messaging a few people here, and it’s not all sad, its actually what I’ve been looking for all the time. I’m going to try and keep it going, share that sadness and also more importantly share and listen to the good… because it is there for all of us, we just have to let it happen when we can.

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Sorry Gav I didn’t mean here on the forum I meant try here at chapter 2 the link didn’t send properly first time :roll_eyes:

Edited by Seaneen to fix the link for you

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Thanks MrsColt, I will give it a try at some point and hopefully others will as well.

I’ll bet you have to pay for chapter 2

You do. I had a look

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Yep it’s most likely something we’d have to pay for, but it is what it is I think :slight_smile: Nothing is free in life these days, and hopefully paying for it might help discourage the messers. Either way if you do try it out, good luck and let us know.

Hello Gav,
I am so sorry for your loss, please accept my condolences.
I lost my son just over 9 years ago and my wife in 2022 and since then I’ve been on my own. I would really like to meet someone I can relate to and have an open friendship with. I feel guilty wanting to move on and have posted a message regarding this on this site. I feel I have to live for them both now but should I do that alone or with someone else? Like you said, just having someone to talk to would be great.

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As human beings we seem to function better when we have someone by our side. Wanting a new best friend is not a bad thing. It’s others that seem to have a problem with it.

If and when you’re ready to start looking then why not. It doesn’t mean, that your loved one will be forgotten. It doesn’t mean your love for them has changed.

The old cliche- life goes on. That’s the hardest thing to do. We are still living. We have to carry on. Our loved ones would want the best for us.

Finding someone new isn’t for everyone. Just like being on your own isn’t for everyone.

Only you know if and when you’re ready.
Sending hugs :people_hugging:

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Hi mate, so sorry to hear your story… life is horrible sometimes. Try not to feel any guilt my friend, you know 100% she would only want you to be happy and to have someone to chat crap to when you need. That does not mean she becomes the past, or forgotten about :wink: You live each day for yourself, not others… but they are and always will be inside you my friend. Nothing or no one will change that :slight_smile: They would both be happy to see you happy again, or even ‘normal’ :slight_smile:

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Totally agree :+1: