Seasons are changing

Morning. Today’s marks the 44th week without my lovely husband. He died at 2.35am on 29.11.17 and it’s been a roller coaster ride since! In fact it’s been a tough time since diagnosis in July 2016 when he was told his bowel cancer was advanced stage 4 with mets to the liver. He was given 2 years but only survived 16 months. It was so sad watching my fit, vegetarian, non smoking husband fade away. I was 55 when he died and it’s been like a jigsaw puzzle trying to find a way forward.

I have been surrounded with love from my two sons, elderly parents, brother and a handful of good friends. But …the loneliness eats away. As the seasons are changing I’m still lonely and can’t see how this will change. I’m busy during the day as I work part time but when I shut the front door on an evening it’s sometimes 16 hours until I speak to another soul. I’ve got to the point where I can’t be bothered to ring people. Partly because I don’t want to hear about their lives (selfish I know) and secondly because I don’t want to say how things are for me.

Just wonder if it’s the same for you guys?

:heart:

1 Like

Morning I lost my partner in May this year to a sudden heart attack he was only 48 at first it was total shock I have 2 sons that still stay with me I have good support from family and friends and I feel the same when they talk about holidays etc with their husbands and partners I want to scream sometimes I will day I am ok when I’m not because I don’t want to bring them down my life has changed forever and I can never replace the things we did as a couple I miss him so much and I just want my old life back.

Take care
Christine x

Hi
My wife died 3 months ago this Monday coming which would have been her 52nd birthday. I miss her more than ever and the loneliness is unbearable. I have three grown up children who are fantastic but I am still distraught
. My daughter still lives with me but is planning to move into her own house in October and I will be totally alone for the first time in 52 years. The pain I am feeling is not of this world and I ache to have Margaret back.

William

Hello Christine. Thank you for replying. Looks like we are experiencing the same feelings. Today has been tearful on several occasions. After 10 months I bumped into 3 different people who didn’t know my husband had died. There were bound to be some people who slipped through the net. October would have been our 35 th wedding anniversary. I’ve thought about him so much today. Hope your day has been one peace and calm. :heart:

Hello William. Thank you for your message. Oh it’s so tough isn’t it. My youngest son married 5 months after his dad died. It was a tough day. He lives about 40 minutes away from me and rings a couple times a day. In the early days he used to get me to photo my food as he wanted to know what I was eating. Our kids are hurting too aren’t they. He shouldn’t be grieving for his dad at 29. I don’t know how those manage who have young children. Have a good evening. :heart:

Hello, My husband also died on the 29th November 2017 ~ early evening, and I was so shocked to see that your dear husband passed on the exact same date. I have a feeling of dread as the date is fast approaching ~ one year on. I expect you are feeling the same? Just wanted you to know that I will be thinking of you and hoping that we can both find a way of dealing with this dreadful period in our lives.
Love Elaine x

Hi Elaine

I know what you mean about ‘the date’. Tomorrow is the start of October and the start of a month of dates for me. I have 12 significant dates this month. It used to be my favourite month - my birthday/ wedding anniversary etc. I’m particularly worried about the 15th. My husband died last year on that day, my best friend also died on the same day. It’s also the day my mother in law died and my uncle. Not sure how I am going to handle the day yet or my wedding anniversary two days later or my birthday a week after that. It’s going to be tough to get through it all.

Yvonne

Dear Elaine. Goodness! Yes, it’s such a sad time. My emotions are on a rollercoaster ride right now. I’ll be thinking of you too. Xxxx

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