Second Anniversary of my husband passing

Today is the second year anniversary of my husband passing and it has hit me hard. People say the first year is the worst, well the first year I just felt like a zombie . This second year is reality and you have to make a new life for yourself to survive the loss of your partner. It is so exhausting trying new things and making new friends that understand what you are going through. I have been in the house all day on my own, which is my choice. I have been drawing on all our happy memories and crying at the thought of not seeing him, touching him and hearing is laughter and voice. I am waiting for tomorrow as I will have to step up and bring more events and friend into my life, as I need to expand to try and fill this big hole he has left in my life, I have promised myself to do this as I want to find some happiness in my life. Thinking of you all and praying for strength for you all to get through this dark grief.
Take care

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Hi , I felt the same , the first year I was numb and zombie like just wanting my husband to come and get me . The second year it hit me really hard knowing that this is my life now , the reality of it set in . Also realised he can’t come and get me , it’s two year gone September , and I feel I’m stuck in this grief bubble , I do work , and have good family , but that is it , I have no friends ( me and husband was always enough for each other ) I don’t do anything apart from work , housework , telly , and this site ( what has been a lifeline for me ) . I don’t know how to make a life for myself , make friends , go places . I’m not sure if it’s because I still think I don’t want too. OR because I have no confidence in myself now , I know my husband would be angry at me just wasting this life I have , He fought so hard to live . …Hope you get through the rest of the day with happy memories, sending hugs , x take carex

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Hiya, it’s only 8 weeks since I lost my gorgeous Alan. I found this site and I get so much from being here with people that understand. Thankyou to both the ladies who have already posted here. You may think you are struggling but to me you are an inspiration. You are still here, still battling and that is brilliant. Much love x

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I so agree with you that the second year is harder but something I found was a lifesaver was joining my local U3A and I have made many new friends and enjoyed many new interests. Now in my fourth year I find I am in a much better place. I will always love and miss my darling husband but there is a life after such sadness.

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Hi I read your email and can completely understand where you are coming from, it could even had been my post.
The only difference is I am almost at anniversary number four, I just cannot believe that this has happened. I literally cannot believe my lovely man has been taken, every morning I am hit by a feeling of utter dread. I feel desperately sorry to read some of these messages it is truly heartbreaking .I have only just found this site and it is very kind of people who are going through an awful time , to try to support others so thank you

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Hi Ivy 1, yes it’s so hard living without our partners . Every morning I wake , I always look at my husbands side of the bed , hoping he is there . Then the dread of getting through another day hits me . Every night I kiss my husband photo and tell him that’s another day over and I’m one day closer to him . I know it’s a sad way to live , but it’s my way of living . I hope you finding this site does help you , like I say all the time it has been my lifeline . I can’t let my adult kids see how upset I get , they have enough to deal with losing their dad . I can’t put my grief onto them as well . So I come on this site and pour all my emotions out , I do keep thinking maybe people get sick of me GOING ON and after more than two years . But I know I still need the help from this site , all the kind people that do actually understand how it feels to lose the most precious person in your life . Please keep posting xtake carex

Hi Broken 2222, thanks so much for your email, I can feel your pain , I literally count the hours as another day passes. I have two adult children, one is chronically ill, she is my reason for getting up in the morning. My Son has been amazing I think more so that he can help me to help her.When my Husband was here we were a team, and didnt real want or need other people , just caring has worn me down. I don’t feel as if I can grieve , everything rotates around my daughter. I am like you just incredibly sad, sad for his loss and sad for what should have been .I am not religious, but am spiritual, I know he will be waiting for me. You are more than welcome to contact me if and when it suit you.Take great care x

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Hi. Just read your post.
I too have found it harder the second year, but know I need to go on and make my husband proud. He will be watching over me and I Hope guiding me down a path to happiness. It is hard to venture forth and make a new life for yourself and you will find the strength to do this. Maybe little steps like going for coffee and chatting to someone sat near you. I have made new friends and it was not easy, to me it is easier to stay at home and do nothing. What is the alternative, it is to stay at home and wait to join our loved ones but we are given a life to live. Please take care and find your inner strength. Bless you.

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