today is the second anniversary of Alan’s passing, last year I was in bits in the days coming up to the first anniversary, the day went ok, our son, daughter, her pug Winston, and my pug Ada all went for a meal after visiting the chapel of remembrance, it was very emotional for me, but we talked about Alan my husband and Alan their father, there were only happy times and the times he did funny things to make us laugh, he was like that. He loved his family, his home, his life, Life in general. when I came home it was like coming back after his passing and funeral all rolled into one. the last 12 months seemed to last a lifetime yet at the same time, flew by in the blink of an eye.
I’ve had life changing health issues during these last 12 months, and coping without his support has been an uphill struggle, but I managed, I had to. this lockdown has been a trial, yet at the same time, a time of reflection.
the past few days I’ve been very low , and again, I coped with it. I have a friend, who I met on the forum, we talk daily, helping each other. She is just entering her second year as I enter my third year. we have been helping each other through the sad times and the happier times and without her support, I honestly don’t think I would be where I am today. Anyway, back to my 2nd anniversary, today has passed by in the blink of an eye, I have been so engrossed in daily activities, the time flew by. Yet again, the worry and emotional anxiety faded into the ether. we spend so much time worrying about an upcoming anniversary that we miss the beauty of those times, the anniversary arrives and all those fears and the emotional anxiety we forced upon ourselves fade away, those days of worry needn’t have happened,
Today has been the same as any other say, yet at the same time, it’s been a special day for me. More so because I sense something Magical has happened. I accept Alan is no longer here, although, as I am a strong believer in the spirit world, I know he is always close by. my spirit has been lifted today, and I have done something I would never have dreamed of doing on an anniversary of his passing.
There is a travel group I belong to which caters for solo travellers and I have booked a cruise which begins are year today, 19th May 2021. never in my wildest dreams would I have contemplated this. This opportunity popped up from the group on my Facebook page, I hadn’t contemplated ever going away on his anniversary yet today it feels the right thing to do.
sorry for the War and Peace, I just wanted to demonstrate that we have to go through the grief, through the bereavement, our loss will never leave us, our love for our departed grows stronger and in turn helps us to grow stronger. It isn’t always true that time helps us to get through the dark times, it all depends on the individual and how they cope with their loss, how they cope with their life after their loss. Our departed loved ones wouldn’t want us to be sad, to be unhappy, we have to carry on and live this different life for the both of us. I saw today that Alan put the posting of this cruise in my line of vision, his way of telling me to enjoy the life i have left on the earth plane, I do feel his presence much stronger today and I embrace this completely. Today has been a really serene day, The birds are singing away too. I can feel my third year without Alan is going to be a more contented and happier year for me. I still miss him like hell and love him even more every single day. I see today as another milestone reached.
apologies for my ramblings, I hope it makes sense and is a comfort to at least one person, if not more.
this shows life without our loved ones can improve we can live this different life with laughter and contentment.
hope today has been an improvement on yesterday and tomorrow is an improvement on today