Hi new here and dont really know how this works.
I lost my mum February last year (2023) and i knew the first year was going to be tough, didnt realise the second year would feel just as tough though. I dont know if its normal to still be feeling so emotional and lost without her? I guess as i spent the last year and a half of her life caring for her full time and never expecting her to pass so soon that hasn’t helped. Im finding it tough to move on with life. I know i should really find myself a job and focus on my life with my husband but for some reason i cant find the push to do so. Has anyone been in this situation that can offer some advice?
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Hi @AngelaM41
Welcome to this forum, I joined last year, & I can say that everyone has been very supportive.
My heart goes out to you at this upsetting time. My mom passed 3 years this April, I’ll admit I spent the first year on autopilot, it wasn’t till the second year that my brain started to wake up, & my grief hit me quite badly, it didn’t help that last year I was having issues with my dad, (less said the better,) I miss my mom, 
.
Our relationship to our loved ones doesn’t end just because they have passed, but it changes into being about the person, what they mean to you, & your memories of them.
How your feeling is normal, everyone grieves in their own way, it’s not a one size fits all, you do what works for you, take your time to work through how you feel, don’t try to rush your grief.
Take care of yourself, sending hugs of support.
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Hi,
My mum passed in Dec 2022. I can honestly say I don’t know where last year went to as most of it was a fog. I took cared for my mum and we were extremely close.
After 15 mths the constant gut wrenching crying has stopped but I still cry daily over something. I feel extremely fragile all the time. I have lost a lot of my confidence so tend to stay home a lot as it’s easier.
I can’t concentrate for long either so have no interest in anything much. Even reading is difficult and I find TV mundane.
Looking back I know I have come a long way but I know I have a long way to go.
I have realised I will never be the same person and that I have to somehow live alongside grief.
From reading other posts on here I think it’d normal to feel like we do .Reassuring in a way as now I appreciate I am not the only one feeling like this
Thinking of you
Deborah x
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They say sorrow never leaves you where it found you, their not wrong. Sending hugs of support.
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@AngelaM41 sorry for your loss. I lost my mum suddenly December 22 and I think we can all relate as the first year is just a blur as you are still registering what has happened and if its real. Into my second year and today is my mums birthday and a load of memories came up on FB of things we had done on her birthday even though to her it was just another day. My cousins lost my aunt a few months before my mum and they say the same it’s not any easier. Just take a day at a time that’s all we can do in this journey without them. 
Thinking of you Valda. I remember you posting the same time as I lost my mum in Dec 2022. It’s still tough going isn’t it ?
Love Deborah x
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@seychelles hope you are doing ok, yes another difficult hurdle but my son and I talking about all her little traits and what she did that made us laugh
losing a loving parent takes years to adjust to. years.
the deeper the love, the longer it takes to even feel okay.
I am sorry but that is the price we pay for having mothers and fathers who loved us. counseling helped me a lot. I also isolated from the world and its demands to nurse myself.
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Hi Valda,
It’s so lovely when you can laugh when remembering things. It’s a huge hurdle. When I do find moments occasionally when I see a photo or find something like a shopping list or just remember some funny moments that happened. She would want me to laugh bec she laughed a lot and always always such a happy positive person.
Keep going Valda. Here for you anytime
Deborah x
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Thanks to all who replied. Im sorry for your losses.
I know you can never prepare for a loss but although i knew losing mum was going to hurt i could never have imagined the pain i feel. Im grateful to hear that the way im feeling isnt out of the norm and will try to not be so hard on myself.
Take care everyone x
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