Thank you for your message, I don’t believe we do go on about our pasted life with our love ones. After a period of reflection I hope you receive some comfort from your thoughts, I know I do. I know I have more moments of reflection now than when Patricia was with me, maybe you are the same.
A couple of days ago I purchased a new iphone, according to my daughters I will be able to send better emails and text messages, I have yet to see that.
The last few days the weather has been dry down here and today was very cold, time for the winter woollies.
The Christmas period was always a wonderful experience with Patricia she put so much into the period, everything had to be right and at the right time, would spent hours on the tree with lights all around the bungalow, it was like a grotto. Unfortunately I am not in that class although I do try a make the effort with my two daughters. It is difficult to explain and understand It is a feeling of emptiness even though one has family members around during the whole period.
Well Chrissy once again time to say cheerio for now, sincerely hope you have a peaceful and restful Christmas period and that you can spend time with family and friends around. I’t may appear strange but I will send a card to Patricia. We both have moments when Barrie and Patricia will be watching and may be able to have a chat.
Good night Chrissy and God bless you, also the good Lord will be watching over us.
Happy New Year, hope it will be a better one.
Did you have a good Christmas I did but like you say there is always someone missing when with other people. We don’t expect them to understand, and I think maybe there is a small part of them that does, they miss them in their own way.
Keep persevering with the phone there are so many things you can achieve with them.
Lovely to receive your latest message, I sincerely hope you have a peaceful and healthy New Year, some days time seem to fly here we are the 12th and Christmas seems so far away. I appear to have a problem sometimes that when I come to reply to your message I cannot find yours in which I am replying to,
I had a very quite Christmas with my two daughters, went for walks on the beach I was very surprised the number of people on the beach must have been to remove all that Christmas food over the period.
As you say Chrissy we all miss people we have known in our ways, I believe that deep down we are all the same with different ways of showing our emotions.
I am surprised how dry the weather has been over the last couple of weeks hope we are not in for our old the snow and ice.
Well that’s all for now Chrissy, hope you have peaceful nights and days to come,
for reasons which are beyond my I appear not to use the word HAPPY not very often these days, I hope people don’t think me as morbid.
…my Crumple Button has been well and truly pressed. I struggled last night to create a meaningful response to a post and I just can’t put into words how I’m feeling right now. It will be fifteen months on Friday since my beautiful husband passed…just don’t want to slide back down after weeks of therapy…it’s frightening, x
I’m sure that must be both worrying and frightening, especially if it caught you unawares. Can you work out what happened. If so, can you work out how to prevent it happening again. I fully expect it to happen to me now, five months on, but I’m not sure as to how it will continue and how often. I’m not sure how you live forward whilst worrying about it happening again, or indeed how I do. I feel I’m constantly forcing myself to avoid triggers but we can’t avoid them all.
Thanks for your help YorkshireLad. It has caught me unawares. I have a ’ box of tools’ that are tried and tested ways I use to get me back onto safer ground, but this feels different, perhaps the initial numbness I felt, could best describe it. Whether it’s happened because I haven’t thought the second year of milestones would affect me as much…husband’s birthday and father’s anniversary, already this month. Like you say, it’s about avoiding triggers; our homes are full of them, right down to their ashes having pride of place. It’s taken some time for me to reply but so worthwhile…thanks for that, much appreciated, x
I’m almost 5 years in… there will I’m afraid always be trigger days. But it does get easier, I promise.
My coping mechanism on what I know will be an awful day is… clear my diary and let it happen. If it’s a work day I take annual leave. No commitments, no plans, no people (because I’m a self control freak and hate… to my core… losing it in public).
But I let it happen. Then it’s done, tomorrow is a new day and I can start again.
Thank you for replying. I so hope I’ve got this. I feel fortunate to be receiving therapy but it’s hard and I just don’t want the progress I’ve made to slip. I worry about worrying, if that makes sense. I’ll certainly keep your coping mechanism in mind over the next few days. I don’t need the annual leave though…left that behind when my husband became ill. Wishing you well too, x
Hi Rainbow,
Progress on bereavement isn’t a straight line. You think it will be… you fervently hope it will be… a nice progressive linear graph… because that means just time will solve the way you feel.
Unfortunately … the progress graph often looks more like the random scribblings of a three year old in wax crayon.
We make adjustments, we get stronger then something blindsides us and we feel like we’re back to square one. We’re not. We still have the progress we had made… and tomorrow is another day.
Hi Collette, I am so sorry to read about your recent loss. I know there are no words that I can say that will bring bring comfort, at this very sad time. You are not alone in how you feel and think. We are here to help as you start your grief journey. With kind respects, x
In Mrs Plummer’s post of 23/09/2018 she wrote:
I love Megan Devine’s book, “It’s Okay that you’re not okay”. That’s been a really good read for me - it’s very validating.
Also, if you’re spiritually inclined - not necessarily religious but you believe in an afterlife, Raymond Moody and Dianne Arcangel’s book, “Life After Loss” is a good read.
So today I have reached the second anniversary of my beautiful husband dying. He was 62 years old and we had been married for 38 years, 8 months and 8 days. I also reached my 60th birthday last week. I use ‘reached’…because how I got here is a mystery, but clearly meant to be.
Sending heartfelt thanks to all my grief buddies who walk beside me on my sad journey, from one year to the next. To all gone before us, forever loved & missed, x
Sheila, I know this post was written a few years ago but I wanted to reply.
What you have written sounds so like e my life with my loving, loyal husband and best friend. We were together since we were eighteen and married for 36 years.
I never thought he would leave me or when that time came we would be older and I would not be longer behind him.
He died during an operation and it was not something that was expected and it has been so traumatic.
I miss everything about him and can’t see my future without him.
He had such happy times and I know he would say to me ’ I have had a good life’ we knew such love and we were blessed to have known that but it also makes it all the harder.
Friends have since told me they were jealous of our relationship and my friends Mum always called us ‘the sweethearts’
Life does seem pointless and I feel I will never feel joy or happiness again.
My children are grown up and have their own lives and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone, therefore I put on a brave face and try not to show my grief to anyone. Not sure if this is healthy but I feel I don’t want to cry when with friends.
I always thought I had a close family but I have been disappointed that no one asks, maybe they don’t know what to say around me they are embarrassed.
As I said at the beginning I know your post was a few years ago but I hope you are well.
Love and light.
