Hi Everyone, just felt I needed to express my feelings about my second year of losing Hilary. It seems a lot worse at the moment than the first year,(If it could be any worse) but for some stupid reason I thought that the first year would be the worse and things would get better, but unfortunately that’s not the case for me, looking back over the first year now, I muddled my way through,( like I think we all do), with my aim being to get to the anniversary of Hilary’s passing ,her funeral, and her birthday, which I did, but know I’m into 3 months of the second year and it all seems more real than the first year, and the thought of having to go through this again for the second year brings back the pain and thoughts I experienced I had in the first few months, hoping it get better as the year goes on.Take Care Mickere x
I am now three months into my third year and at long last I now feel life is slightly easier. That’s not to say I don’t have bad times and I still have tears but generally I feel I am better at tackling difficulties that arise. As lots of people have already pointed out time is not a great healer but we do learn how to cope better with our grief. I do believe I will always grieve for my husband until I join him but it does not take over my life so much. I will never stop loving and missing him and I’m sure Paul will always walk beside me.
My second year will begin on April the sixteenth, so not long to wait, I don’t cry as often, although I do get emotional in certain circumstances; I don’t see that improving in the near future.
I think a good proportion of these last eleven months I was in shock and struggled to come to terms with the enormity of what had happened. I still find it hard to accept that I’ll never see again the woman I was connected to for fifty six years and married to for forty nine of them. Childhood sweetheart, lover, wife and best friend - gone forever?
Where is she?
She’s certainly not in that small box on the sideboard, that’s for certain.
Although I immerse myself in small projects that serve to distract me, it’s impossible to ignore the emotions that grieving creates.
I am 3 months into my second year too and have just got through my husbands birthday and our anniversary for the second time without him.
I haven’t seen or spoken to anyone for 3 days and I am feeling very tearful today, thinking what is the point of my life now. Can’t seem to feel any enthusiasm to do anything or go out anywhere, as I just cant face seeing happy couples everwhere.
Life is so lonely now, and I know there are lots of you feeling the same.
Love and hugs x