Secondwave

I lost both my Uncle and my Grandma within 2 weeks in early December and have been very sad but thought I was getting better.
All of a sudden 4 months on, I have been hit with a second wave of grief, somehow it feels worse. I cant stop crying, my dreams are only about bereavement of people close to me, I find it hard to concentrate on anything other than the emotional pain.
I’ve never been very good at coping with my emotions particularly about death but this is something all consuming.
I’m struggling to understand if this is normal or not and like a wave, will this retreat and return?

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losing your elders is hard. grief comes in waves, yes. these are hard big losses … you will grieve deeply. :heart:

How sad to loose two people so close to you one after another, that must be so hard , but it does come and go in waves, I lost my brother 8months ago it’s been very hard and I can go a few weeks thinking I am getting better then wam ! It hits me again so hard and feels like yesterday, so think this is quite normal and hopefully not sure how long but we will go longer between each one and eventually we will learn to cope better, sending you support and know you are not alone

Hi Hazel,

So sorry for your losses.

What you are going through is perfectly normal, also grieving and how you react are unique to you and there is no right or wrong way to grieve!

The link below to the Cruse website (sorry Sue Ryder!) explains one of the models that you might be going through.
As it says there is no order to the stages or duration and it is perfectly normal to bounce between the stages.

Hope this helps.

Take care
x

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I think the 5 stages is an outdated model, and now people like Julia Samuel instead talk about oscillating between loss and restoration.

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Hi Burgled,

Had not heard of Julia Samuel before so thank you for that.

I actually prefer Worden’s 4 stages to the 5 stages version but think both give people the understanding that you grieve in Stages and that it’s ok to bounce between the stages as part of the grief process!

Different things will work for each of us.

Take care
x

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Thank you for this, It does help to look over

x

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