My partner died 5 months ago, I’ve always liked a drink but strictly at weekends, but the last 2 weeks I’ve found myself drinking at home most nights, bottle of red, neat rum, anything that numbs the reality of life. Thing is, I never regret drinking the next day, infact I look forward to it, because for a while, the pain isn’t real.
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Am afraid I’m the same. Anything to numb the unbearable pain and loss.i think I might actually get to see him quicker
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Hi ade
I am not much of a drinker but does it help i have some tia maria in if I thought it would take it all away I would do.it what do I have left nothing turns 69 on Sunday and I feel like 89 I just wish god would take me now and let me have some painfree peace
Sarah
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Hi Ade
I can relate to your post. I lost Mark 14 weeks ago and I know I’m drinking far too much. I just find the evenings so empty without him. I’m trying to keep myself busy but come the night time I find it so difficult not to open a bottle of wine. I am consciously not having alcohol every night as I’m aware it would be very easy to become dependant. It’s just very hard at the moment.
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I’ve always thought I would drink myself silly if I give up but when should you give up. I’ve seen unfortunately many people who have thought not caring for themselves will mean death unfortunately only to have seizures and become paralytics. That’s what keeps me from going to the bottle, the idea of being in this pain added to being a useless object that some has to clean and feed. Sorry for being a downer but my wife’s mother was in this situation and she felt that her husband didn’t love her, gave up on her health thinking she would die but life can be cruel.
I hope our loved ones are looking at us and if the tables were turned the last thing we would want to see is …
Wishing you all the best
Tom
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I can see what you’re saying, and I think we all know what our partners would have wanted for us, but it isn’t that easy is it? To carry on, to be happy, to keep doing things you enjoy……. When I enjoyed being with her, I was happy with her, how can you carry that on when she’s not here?
Death holds no fear for me now, at all, because I believe I’ll be back with her, so what’s to fear? Knowing my luck I’ll live another 30 years though!
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I don’t care anymore, whatever is to be will be. I just hope I’m not around for a long time, I couldn’t stand the thought of loving like this, as I only want Ray to be here. That can’t happen so I don’t have any interest in anything anymore
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I understand how you feel. I don’t think anyone of us would care if we found we were going to die. But I don’t think we should actively chase that outcome. I hope you everyone finds some peace tonight.
Tom
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, hi Brandon 1
So do I hope.we all.find.some peace tonight I know.we all.feel.this.pain some.more than others but we.all.are in the same.boat so let us all support one and other on here.says.me who has had more meltdown on here than others I am here for.anybody.that.needs.to.pour.there heart out this is a hard journey we.are all on and if I can help anybody get through it just.like you are all helping.me it is hard and lonely as I have found out I still cry even 5yrs in as I miss my husband just like all you lovely people on here never ever think you are alone because this site is so welcoming and the people have helped me for 5yrs I thought I was the.only one going through this then I had some.phone call counselling and they suggested this site at.first I was sceptical but.then I thought it cannot.harm.me can it as I do not need to answer people but I have found this site to.be my salvation with all the people that are going through the same as me I never knew so many people where on this road and I am not alone it helps me as I cannot.get.out as much as I would like too wish I was a bit fitter hey ho so everybody take care and be kind to yourselfs and anytime you want a chat day or night I am.here for you OK big hugs zooming to all of my friends on here I am.sure I will be back on here needing help.or advice and crying again goodnight all
Sarah x
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