Hello I’m new here! My auntie passed awat two weeks ago. I have been caring for my uncle (her husband) and doing everything that she did before she tragically died.
My partner wants me to return to work (I am self employed) but I don’t feel ready. I still keep having flashbacks to the night she died (me carrying out CPR) and panic attacks. I own a sweet shop and the shops been closed on some days but others my partner’s family have stepped in.
I know I need to get back to work and normality but I’m really struggling with the thought of it. Customers asking questions, checking how I am and giving condolences…it’s just too much. I’m also exhausted and overwhelmed by looking after my uncle I literally became his carer overnight.
its like falling off a horse, you have to get back on. you own a shop, you cant let it close its your livelihood. yes people might ask questions, just say you had time off due to a breavement, you have to tell them nothing. find someone else to help look after your uncle, its not totally down to you.
@Lossngreif1
You seem to have taken on far too much. When will it all end? If you care for someone, people will leave you to it, quietly grateful that they don’t have to. And now others are bouying you up, it’s having a knock on effect.
It might do you a lot of good to get back to work and take your mind away from the trauma for a while. Yes, say you’ve suffered a bereavement and really don’t want to talk about it. Good luck, and reign in that help.
That’s the thing there is nobody. My mum has had a stroke so she can’t, my brother works and has two kids to look after same with my sister. I do have carers coming in but only 2 times a day (down from 3) to help care for him but it’s in between these times that will worry about him.
My uncle has no family to speak of on his side.
Blessings I am sorry for your loss From what you have said you are not ready to go back to work yet So don’t push yourself It will be difficult at first to face the public I understand you are caring for your uncle First you need to decide whether or not you want to keep on caring for him full time or not If not calmly look for alternatives I don’t know what your uncle s financial situation is Is he in receipt of any type of disability benefits that could fund a carer Does he own his own home What does he want Would he consider residential care Could you open your shop part time Could you employ someone to manage it it’s so difficult to make decisions when you are in grief. Is there any rush You have so many alternatives better consider all your options calmly and look into everything throughly before you decide anything Blessings I hope you find a satisfactory solution
LosseinGrief give yourself time.
It’s too much too soon.
Easy for others to push. I’ve been criticised for not getting back on my feet fast enough but where were they when my mum was dying and I was changing her 3-4 times a day and damaging my spine. I have PTSD & they don’t care.
Set you boundaries. You’ll feel better by doing this.
