Today has been a really tough day , 6 weeks since I lost the most amazing man who made me so happy . I’ve had to make the horrible decision to sell his cars and it’s breaking my heart . He had a high paid job and I couldn’t possibly afford to keep running them both they are big jeeps and cost a lot . The road tax insurance etc had been cancelled and it was a decision I’ve had to take sooner rather than later . His car was his pride and joy and I’m so so upset. I know it’s just things and the memories aren’t stored there , but I also feel guilty about not being able to keep them on . X
He would second your decision to do what you must.
They were his to enjoy. He did. At least he had his pleasures.
If it is not your pleasure, he would want you to sell them and be relieved of the responsibility.
You might also be upset at losing this connection and reminder of him.
But economics often dictate.
Thankyou , my friends and family have said the same thing and it is reassuring to have advice that I am doing the right thing. He wouldn’t expect me to try and keep them. It’s just so difficult and feels so soon to be saying goodbye to things he loved. This journey is the worst time of my life and I’m sure everyone can relate . Not only are we suffering loss of loved ones but there is so much more that comes along . Making heart wrenching decisions when the only thing you want to do is keep as much as you possibly can. I can’t see this getting any easier as time goes on . We have to keep living but life will never be the same , I’m an empty shell achieving what needs to be done . X
I feel exactly the same. I’m having to sell my husbands van as I need to settle the finance on it… I can’t afford to keep it. It broke me when I had to clean it out.
I feel empty. I’ve lost myself as I feel he has taken part of me with him. I’m never going to be the same again.
44yrs together, the love of my life. Before he passed he said some truly amazing things to me that will live with me until I see him again.
I’m so sorry , it hurts really bad . I cried having to hand over the keys. We have to do it though , your memories will forever be in your mind. Could I ask what happened to your husband ? Only if you want to talk about it xx
Hi , I fully understand how you feel as I had the same thing, we both had a car. I had to take the decision to sell his car as it was bigger than mine and more expensive to run. I kept his personal number plate so when I am ready I will have it put on mine. The guilt was enormous as it felt as if I was doing the wrong thing. Another thing I had to do was sell on his birds. He had kept birds all his life and they were his passion. It felt so wrong moving them on so soon after losing him but I couldn’t look after them like he did. He passed away suddenly just 12 months ago on the 12th Dec. It really upset me when they went but quite honestly I didn’t have a choice. My one son would come once a week to clean them all out, he had 6 aviaries and my other son who was at home would feed them daily, but they both had their own lives to lead and I couldn’t keep relying on them to do this. It felt as if I was trying to erase him but I wasn’t I was facing reality. He was quite a collector as well so in time there are a lot more things that will have to go but they can wait till I’m ready. At some point I will need to downsize and won’t be able to take everything with me but for now they can stay where they are. They are my link to him, but even when they have gone I will still have the memories. I have told the children to choose what they want when they are ready. There are some things that I will never let go as he bought these for me and a few things that I bought for him . The children have all said I am doing the right thing when I am ready.
Don’t beat yourself up about it as I am sure that we a have had to do this at some point, I know I have. The guilt and upset is always there but I’m sure that they would want us to do what’s right for us.
Take care, sending big hugs xxx
It’s very hard isn’t it . But like you we have no choice in some of these decisions . I didn’t live with my partner and at some point need To go and sort out his house . I can’t imagine how I will even begin this as everything is how he left it . I go there to check it and collect mail but it breaks my heart . I just want to walk in and see him stood there and ask me how my day was . He was taken from me
So quickly and I still now can’t believe it has happened and he has really gone , we had our future to look forward to and we had so many plans. Life is so so cruel , he wanted to retire soon and his future was set up for him x
He was diagnosed with lung cancer in July and passed away in Sept. He was only 65.
I’m sorry for your loss , always hear if talking helps . I’m still thinking nothing much helps but knowing others are here and understand is a comfort xx
This I can relate to as my husband passed on 5th November 2022 and yes still so very devastating my husbands pride and Joy was his old Rover 2000 P6 and even though it spent more time in the garage been fixed he still lived it .
Sadly yes it has to go as I need to release funds !
But this decision breaks my heart.
Thinking of you and sending strength.
I share your pain with this. Sometimes our head will have to overrule our heart to try and make the hard decisions . I’m sure that our men would agree with the choices we have to make as they would know it’s the only way . Although that doesn’t make it any easier. I’d do anything to not be here and to have him back with me , my heart breaks everyday and the pain still feels so raw inside. Always here if you need to chat x
I absolutely agree. I’m just plodding through everyday wishing I was with my husband. Every day is so hard living without the love of my life.
I find every morning a struggle to get out of bed. I want to try and go back to work I feel I need to create a focus otherwise I’m going to sink into depression . I just don’t know what to do with myself day in day out . I mange what’s needed most of the time but that’s it . I want to either sleep or sit on the sofa x
I have gone back to work after having 3 moths off . 2 months looking after my husband and. Month for bereavement. I start off on a phase back. It does help a tiny bit as you have to get up out of bed. It also gets you focused on something else for a while.
Go back to work slowly bit by bit.
I’ve also had a few months off as I was looking after my partner and travelling everyday to see my mum who was in a hospice and passed away two weeks before my partner . I just feel life will never be ok now and so I have to try to take the next step of going back to work . They have been amazing with me and given me the time off no questions asked . My partner worked with me so all my colleagues knew him also. It’s going to be hard but we have to do it don’t we there is no alternative x
Unfortunately there is no alternative but to carry on the best we know how to. Grief will never go away it will be with us forever.
I wear my husband’s wedding ring and talk to his ashes everyday hoping he is listening to me. My heart will be broken until we meet again.
Only just catching up with this conversation. I know exactly what you mean but you had to do it.
My husband was a driving instructor (as well as still keeping his farmland) and I sold the instructor’s car. I didn’t think I was particularly attached to it but I sobbed as it was taken away.
I kept the pickup as I need it on the farm and it isn’t worth anything anyway. I still think of it as his though but for that reason I love driving it.