Last year, a week after my birthday my beloved grandma passed away after suffering with breast cancer. Three weeks later my grandad (her husband) who was in a care home with dementia passed away from a broken heart (actual medical cause). It has been so painful for me and just before Christmas their house went on the market. I’m starting to really struggle with it, I feel so protective of it. The little dodgy DIY fixes my grandad did, how proud they both were if their house that they worked so hard to buy. It all swims around in my mind at the worst moments. On the bus on the way to work and trying not to cry, feeling silly for getting upset over bricks and mortar. Has anyone else ever felt the same way over the things left behind?
Yes, although I come to it from a slightly different angle.
Since my wife died four months ago, I have tried to get my family to think about how I should update my will, and how my estate should eventually be divided.
When I mention the probable need to sell our house, there is a sense of horror, as the house has meant so much to the family, and been the backdrop to so many happy, and sad, events.
It’s an 18th century, listed, cob-walled, thatched cottage in a conservation area, and is the focal point of the centre of the village. It’s been photographed since the early 1900’s, painted, appeared in ‘Wiltshire Life’, an image was on the village millennium commemorative mug, and so on and so on. Eileen produced a fantastic annual display of flowers and plants which was always much appreciated and commented on.
Lest that sounds smug, it’s expensive to maintain, dusty, draughty, pokey, damp in places, and comes complete with a disputed boundary ! However, the family love it, as did Eileen, and as do I.
Going to have to come to some sort of decision . . . .
I suppose that we have to accept that we are only stewards of such places, and that life, and lives, and houses, all move on.
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I’m so sorry to hear about Eileen, I can’t imagine what you must be going through but I’m glad you’ve got your family to support you. I guess it’s difficult for me because a lot of their belongings are still in there and seeing the photographs online upset me a little. Sending a bunch of support to you. Keep strong. Helena