Hi, I’m a newbie to this site. I am having to sell my family home after the loss of my dad last year (mum died 15 years ago). It’s so hard and I’m struggling.
You have experienced the loss of both your parents. I know from experience how hard that is and can totally understand that you are struggling.
One of my sisters expressed it very well in a poem she wrote for our mum’s funeral. It ended with words expressing how sad she felt about never being able to be a child again. No matter what age we reach, to our parents we always remain a child and when they are no longer there, a whole new chapter starts in our life. They are still very much part of it because of the love we have for them in our hearts, the many memories, and the many ways in which they shaped us into the persons we are today, but it is not the same.
I can also understand that you are finding it hard to sell the family home. Our parents rented their home and we only had 6 weeks to empty it. I found that very hard, because it was the place where we had all met so many times on so many occasions and it was filled with memories. The saddest moment was when I left the empty house for the last time. We had each taken the items that had emotional value to us, and we had found a good ‘home’ for everything that neither of us could use. We felt our parents would have been happy with what we did and that gave me some comfort. I had also taken a lot of pictures, so that I would remember what the house looked like.
For me, it really helped that my sisters and I could go through all this together. Do you have siblings, or a partner or good friend, who can help and support you with the sale of the house? I hope that you have plenty of time to do it so that you can do things one step at a time when you feel ready for it.
Hi, Thankyou for your reply. I am sorry for your loss as well.
I made a memory book last year and took a lot of photos of the house, as it’s the only house we all knew as children. So I do have that, I am also trying to make memories by items in my present home, not just possessions of my parents and photos but a favourite plant of theirs, I took some cuttings from the garden last summer and pressed them, and have framed the pressed flowers.
I have siblings but one lives far away and with lockdown I don’t see him and the other is very much a closed book and doesn’t share or want to share to be honest.
I walk around the family home and still have visions of my parents in the house but at present they are bad memories, memories of when they were ill. I suppose it will take time before the visions are the happier ones. Maybe once we get closure on the house sale I can move on mentally a bit more.