Im finding it so hard to understand why my husband of 51 years, a fit healthy man did not survive sepsis. Even the doctors don’t know . I now wish I had asked for a post mortem. The worst thing was that for over the month he was in ICU he couldn’t communicate with me. I tried so hard to lip read and he got so frustrated. I was only allowed to be with him for an hour a day. I’ve just read that there might be a genetic component to sepsis that increases morbidity in some patients. I keep wondering whether he just gave up when he overheard that he would be severely disabled if he had survivez and he didn’t want to be a burden to me. The only thing he said that I could understand was that he asked me if si was happy and zi just said , of course not! We met when we were seventeen and I’ve never lived on my own before. I live in a very isolated rural part of Scotland and though I have friends in the area none of them are nearby and anyway I caught covid at the funeral.
I am sorry for your tragic loss, I can’t imagine how hard it was for you seeing your husband suffer and only being allowed short visits. I don’t think any of us ever get the answers we need but somehow we soldier on. I find the isolation and loneliness very hard, it’s been 5 months since my husband was taken from me and some days I feel like I can cope and others the loss engulfs me and the feeling of shock returns.
The one thing we all have in common here is we are here for the same reasons so keep posting as the support received is our lifeline
Take care
Jen x
Thank you for taking the time to reply - it really does help to know that others really understand what we’re going through. As you say this forum is a lifeline as most people who ask how you are are just hoping you’ll say OK or Fine as they don’t know how to respond if you tell them the truth.
It is so difficult to understand the loss you feel but try and have faith it will get easier in time.life changes all tge time you will miss him forever but pray it doesn’t feel as painful. I lost partner 2 weeks ago a dvt he was only 58.such a shock.i am going back to my work after the funeral is over.will see if that helps .thinking of you
I know how you feel my husband also got sepsis in icu and died after 3 weeks in a coma but because of covid I wasn’t allowed to visit only on his last day to ask my permission to turn of life support which I wouldn’t give them. I think they just gave up on him and I will never forgive my local hospital for that.
How long ago was it? Do you mind me asking how old he was - my husband was 74 but very fit snd healthy except for atrial fibrillation. I didn’t understand why they stopped giving him dialysis which seemed to be helping. However I think the ICU did all they could - it just took too long to get him to hospital. It was a four hour ambulance drive to the hospital and by the time we arrived it was too late to have a scan. He was kept in a ward overnight so valuable time was wasted. I think he would have had a better chance of survival if he had been taken to hospital by air ambulance but they didn’t know he had sepsis. My husband was very stoical and didn’t make a fuss. It was awful that he couldn’t communicate with me. I do worry that he overheard a nurse telling me that he would probably have to go into a nursing home for rehabilitation if he survived and that he gave up, not wanting to be a burden. I’ve read that the quality of life for survivors is very poor which is done consolation.
Thanks for reply my husband died August 2021 he didn’t go in with sepsis he got that in hospital so it came out of the blue. In my opinion it shouldn’t have happened he was doin ok and he to was fit for his age I’m waiting for a inquiry into what happened I have lots of questions for them to answer I know it won’t bring him back but I need answers
that was like my husband i told him i woukd be okay and he could go. i kissed him he closed his eyes and just passed i feel guilty though😢
please let me know the outcome of the enquiry. My husband also got sepsis in the hospital, even though his lung had collapsed, he was a fit man. Ended up with a rare form of blood cancer as well as sepsis how?
Got a date for my meeting with hospital administration its 26th January. Not expecting any answer’s , will let you know
@Misprint
I hope that you have someone who can accompany you on the 26th for support but also to take notes.
Your post reminded me that at first I said to him that if he saw a tunnel, with a light at the end, he should try and come back to me but when I saw that he was so weak and so tired fighting this horrible disease that I said to him that I was giving him permission to go towards the light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t know if he heard or understood as he was delirious and so heavily sedated but he did die peacefully at the end, with me giving him sips of whisky.
@Misprint
Just a brief message to say that I will think of you on the 26th. Do you feel ready and prepared for the meeting ?
Its been cancelled due to covid and flu