My dad passed away in November.He was 80 and had experienced several months of ill health, but his actual death was rather sudden and unexpected.
I have felt alot of difficult feelings of remorse/guilt etc since, relating to the fact I barely saw him in the last months of his life (I was worried about the covid risks of visiting him in hospital as I was heavily pregnant for most of the time he was there) and we had a somewhat awkward relationship since I was a teenager/adult so there was alot of things went unsaid.I also have felt bad because I didn’t take my 4yo daughter to his funeral, which I regretted alot afterwards.
Generally I haven’t been doing too badly the last month or two with managing the grief…it hit me properly in jan/Feb which was tough, but the recently things have eased, and this has made my family household much happier as a result of me being less stressed/upset.
The main issue I have, is that every time I either go to visit my mum at their home, or go to my dad’s grave, I feel like it sets me back, and I overthink everything again, and it plays on my mind and causes me to feel worse again.
It’s tricky as I don’t want to not visit my mum, or visit the grave, but I don’t want it to keep affecting me like it does each time either.
I get upset at my mum’s because there’s so many stark reminders everywhere, and she is in the process of sorting through his things.
Does anyone have any advice how I can manage this please? so that it’s not impacting on me too much mentally each time I go to these places.