Severe anxiety after i lost my dad

Losing a parent
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My dad was a healthy 74 year old who lived separately. We were not talking every day and he was lonely ever since my mom died. So he just died and we found him 3 days later and i am crushed. I am devastated. I loved my dad so much but never did i ever think that we will not find him for so long…im crushed…
I have developed severe panic attacks and anxiety and i am on paroxetine for 2 weeks now, but I am even worse.
I can’t work.
I cant stand up and walk, can’t eat.
Please help me…

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Hi aneki5,

I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. It sounds as though things are very tough and you are feeling really overwhelmed by your grief right now. It sounds like you’re looking for support and I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you’re feeling with us. It is very normal for people who are grieving to feel anxious and panicky, and not know where to start.

You may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.

We know that a lot of people experience suicidal thoughts when they are grieving, and it is often about wanting the person who has died back or life to go back to how we know it. We have a video about it here which you might find helpful: Sue Ryder Grief Guide

There is lots of other support out there, and I would really encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

  • If you find the emotions become overwhelming and you are having thoughts about harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

  • You can call 111 and choose the mental health option to speak to a trained mental health professional (England, Scotland and Wales only)

  • Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence. You can call them on 116 123.

  • Shout are contactable by text, 24/7. You can text REMEDY to 85258 and talk to them about anything.

  • You can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline.

You can also make an appointment with your GP and ask to be referred to counselling or other support services in your area.

You deserve care and support so please, get in touch with one of these services.

Take care, Rhi

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Hi. I’m so sorry for your loss. :heart: Sometimes it can feel worse for a while when you start out with anti-depressants, I hope the doctor who prescribed them is someone you can talk to. Tell him or her that you feel worse, if you haven’t already, maybe they can adjust the dosage. Ask for counselling too, severe panic attacks is not something you should have to cope with on your own. I’ve struggled with those myself and I’m going to link to a webpage with practical suggestions, but please discuss counselling with your doctor. You need the support. Keep reading and posting in the forum as well, there are so many of us here who can relate and understand. :people_hugging:

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Hello
That must have been really hard. I guess that could have been me because my mum died suddenly at home alone 29 years ago.
Only by accident someone called the same day.
She as found on the floor.
It was traumatic enough having to go and see her still there and I had to be alone waiting for her to be carted away. Then just left there feeling traumatised.
The picture gave never went away.
My brother didn’t want to see her so I had to go on my own and that was very difficult but had to say goodbye.
Hugs

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I totally understand how you’re feeling.

I’ve had chronic anxiety and depression since I was a teenager. I was always terrified of losing Mum and then when we were on holiday in Orlando for her 70th birthday she started feeling poorly and I found her collapsed in the hallway of our hotel room. The hotel staff and paramedics tried to resuscitate her but it was no use.

Since then my anxiety has been so bad that I had to contact a crisis helpline while I was still in Orlando and then when I got home my GP changed my prescription and has since doubled it and referred me for bereavement counselling which I haven’t started yet.

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Sorry for your loss. I have also experienced anxiety and panic attacks. I find calming music such as classic fm really helps me and comforting things like blankets and warm drinks. When I was really suffering several years back my Dr recommended a very short walk every day if you can manage it. Literally walk 5 minutes, turn round, go back, even if it’s in the garden/yard. It’s to do with the fresh air I think

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Hi @aneki5
I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly. It was only a day before we found her but still massively traumatic. I too started having massive anxiety and panic attacks after her death. I believe its because we have had a massive shock, like ptsd and the brain cannot cope. For me it did ease after a few months and now im 10 months on and have had counselling and im coping a lot better. Try and be kind to yourself, my counsellor said for some people grief is experienced as anxiety. It will get better

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