Sharing News

I find it very hard when you have news either good or bad that a loved one and myself would have shared, but they are not around to tell things to, although I can tell the news to the stars but reality is they are not around so you can not hear them
or see the expression on their face.

Hi Mags. This is hard, especially when you’ve shared so much with someone. Even though there are other people you can share news with, they’re often not the first people you think of doing so with after a loved one has died.

Some people find talking to themselves as if someone else was there helps - although personally I’m not sure it’d work for me. Visiting their grave to share news (especially on special dates) is also a pretty common thing to do and can help.

Is there anything in particular that you do that helps, Mags?

I tend to image the conversation I would have, but this always makes me feel sad. I haven`t found another way of coping yet.
Some of the people are either buried to far away to visit their graves or their ashes have been scattered by their partner at their special place, so it do not seem right to be trespassing on their space. The problem is that it is always in the middle of the night when everywhere is quiet when you miss them the most and you do not want to move around to much as you are afraid of disturbing sleeping husband and pets.

It’s interesting that you say it doesn’t seem right to be trespassing on their space when talking about where ashes are scattered. I can’t imagine they’d mind at all, and might be comforted that someone else wants to spend time remembering those who have died? Everyone is different of course, and I don’t know specifics about the situation - but grief is something that’s best shared as it helps everyone cope…

One of our bloggers has just written this nice little piece about how she coped when her Dad died. She writes about things she did to help remember him. I thought I’d share it with you as it might help and spark an idea or two about how you can cope:

Ways to cope with losing someone you love - a blog by Emily.

And night times are always the worst - especially if you ever have trouble sleeping. Sometimes I think it’s ok to be a bit selfish though and not worry too much about waking sleeping partners or pets - it’s important to do what makes you feel better :slight_smile:

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Thanks for the link to the blog
If I am awake at night for too long or is too upset I do end up getting up and potter about, but am always aware of the fact we need to work the next day.
The things that help with me are making a to do list and keeping busy, what helps you?

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