Shellshocked at the loss of my dad

My beloved dad died suddenly a month ago. I am grateful he didn’t suffer but I had no chance to say goodbye to him or to thank him for everything he did me me and my brothers. I had recently been in hospital and he asked if I wanted to stay with him to rest up and I declined as I was set to see him at the end of October and now I have huge guilt that I didn’t go. I wonder if he would have still died if I had been there. We talked all the time and text each other multiple times a day and now all I have is silence. I just can’t comprehend that he is gone. There isn’t a day that goes by where I have constant split second thoughts about texting him but obviously realise I can’t. I look at our old messages and pictures of him and it breaks my heart. His wife is obviously distraught but the family have come together. And it was only after he had gone that we realised that we had no videos of him so i can’t even hear his voice again. When I’m at his house I just think he’s in the kitchen and will pop his head in and say hi but he’s not. This is the worst feeling I’ve ever had. I can’t believe I’m never going to see him again. I know it’s a phase of everyone’s life but that doesn’t make it any easier at all. His favourite armchair stands empty and will always be that way as it was his. I’m a complete mess at the moment. I know it will get better but right now I can’t see that happening.

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Gordy I am in a very similar situation, posting here for the first time today. I hope you can find some support here, in the short time I have been on this site I have read many things of comfort.
My Dad passed 3 weeks ago. I still text his phone every day. The replies have stopped but somehow I find it comforting.
I hope you are kind to yourself and take care.

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It’s such an awful feeling. I thought about texting him but I just can’t. There will never be a reply and it’s just too much. I’m very sorry for your loss. I have said that so many times over the years and whilst being sincere I never knew what the people I said it to were feeling. I do now . It really is tough. I hope you will be ok as well

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Thank you, and my condolences to you and your family.
I understand, and it is such a personal thing grief. I guess there is no guide book to dealing with things, it is just a case of finding our way in what can sometimes feel a very dark and lonely place. I find this website to be a tiny bit of light at the moment. Wishing you strength and peace at this time.

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Thanks. I appreciate that. I haven’t really looked around at the rest of the site but I will do. Hang in there

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Im so sorry for loss, i have so similar feelings to you at the moment, i lost my dad suddenly and unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago and i feel broken, it’s truly the worst feeling in the world. I was lucky to see him a couple of days before but in a way i think it has made it harder to accept because he was so happy and healthy. I desperately want to calll him, reading through text messages has given some comfort. Try not to think of the what ifs i know that is easier said than done, try to think of all the happy memories. I really hope you get through this it truly is the worst feeling in the world but i hope you find the strength to get through.

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Thank you Zee and I am very sorry for your loss as well. That is exactly what happened to my dad. He wasn’t young but he was on top form preparing for our xmas visit and even asking me to look for a little treadmill as he wanting to try and exercise at home. He was always looking to the future and then in the blink of an eye he’s gone. It baffles me when I read his messages to me because it just seemed so normal. It really is the worst feeling and has been the hardest month of my life. :anguished:

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Same for us too, we had been planning christmas just 2 days before, the day after he passed i was in the spare room at his house and all the christmas presents for my little ones where all laid out it broke me. It really is so hard to accept. We have to just take one day at a time some days will be harder than others.

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Everything sounds so familiar. My dad was planning to take us all out on christmas day for a meal in a local restaurant. I had been out and I replied to say that I could make it but he never saw my reply as he had already gone by then. That really upsets me to think he didn’t know and also he never got to hear I had the all clear from the hospital. It is very hard to accept as he seemed so on it. We all know that this day will come but nothing on earth can prepare you for it.

Im so sorry that must be so hard to deal with :broken_heart:. I think it’s really hard to accept when it’s sudden and you’re not expecting it. Like you say aswell nothing can prepare you for it its a feeling that gets you right in the stomach, one minute you can be okay then the smallest thing can set you off

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It’s obviously a very personal thing when it happens to you but you look on here and see the other heart-breaking posts and you realise that it happens to everyone every day. There is never any type of preparation for when it happens. I just wish I could say goodbye :frowning:

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Very true, you just have to get through in whatever way works for you

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