Hi my name is shelly,
I lost my grandma almost 10 months ago to altzimas.
I would visit he every week but then covid hit and I couldn’t see her. It has destroyed me not being about to see her before she passed.
We were so close,she was my best friend. Even tho she recognised me she didn’t know I was her granddaughter but I enjoyed and treasured every momont with her.
I am really finding it hard,life without her.
My family think I’m getting obsessed because I have some of her ashes,some of her hair but it keeps me close to her and I’m not ready to let go.
I’ve started drinking heavily and starting to isolate myself.
It would have been her 86th birthday in July and I brought her a card. Some find it strange and unhealthy but I needed and wanted to do it.
I’ve never used a chatroom before but I feel so alone in my grief I just need to talk with others who maybe feel the same as me.
Thank you for taking time to listen to me rant on lol.

1 Like

Shelly, I am very pleased you found the site and never apologise for the fact that you are grieving the loss of beloved gran. On here we all have lost someone special and many it’s their grandma. Grieving is different for everyone because we are all different but the one thing that we all find it hard and it hurts like nothing else. Please read other people’s post and you will feel that you are not alone, we are always here for you. Stay safe. S xxx

Dear Shelly
It’s hard loosing a loved one you were so close to…do whatever you have to do if it helps.
I was a community mental health support worker for a long time…I used to help clients put memory boxes together. I too have drunk heavily…I’m weaning myself off and using stoptober as an excuse to do so…but it’s hard. I hope you find some peace and support here

Hi Susie,

Thank you so much for your comments, I had talked to cruse on line a couple of times. I have just orders a ring which will be made with her ashes. I’m looking forward to receiving it.
I can’t talk to my family about her,so it’s lovely to speak to others who understands how I feel.
I’m getting there slowly with my drinking and I’ve engaged with services.
Thank you again for taking the time to reply to me.


Hi meg,

Thank you for your time.
It’s so difficult coming to terms with the loss of her.
I’m getting support from services with my drinking. I’m just trying to keep myself busy.
I’m mainly nights I find hardest.
I chat to Samaritans and cruse sometimes.
I’m glad I have found somewhere I can talk about it.
I have started a scrap book which is a lovely way to remember her and her personality.
Thanks meg

That’s great you are engaging with services. Keep going think of the nice times you had with your gran. O once had a neighbour and she was like a special gran we saw each other every day. I lived hundreds of miles from my family and she was comforting. I moved back to my family in the North and it was such a wrench leaving her it was so upsetting… I had news she died recently. So sad.
Take care Mrg

Meg sorry mislaid my glasses

Oh bless ya meg that very sad,sorry to hear that.
I’ve never had anyone so close to me pass away before.
I knew it was going to be difficult,but nothing can prepare you

We think our grand parents are going to be around forever and then suddenly one by one they are taken.
My daughter lost her favourite granny, my mum when she was five she’s 28 now and barely remembers her, they had a lovely relationship and I feel sad she only had her for a short time.
My niece’s lost their paternal grandparents in a road traffic accident a few years ago it was truly awful for them and it was on their diamond wedding anniversary.
Take care Meg

Hi meg,
That’s so awful, people get taken too soon but we somehow find the strength to carry on.
I need some counselling regarding my grandma which I will do.
I look at my grandma’s photo looking into her eyes and willing her to come back to us and Hoping she will if I will her hard enough,but obviously it’s not going to happen.
Some days I can think of her and talk to her with no sad moments or tears and some times I’m an emotional wreck.
I will miss her forever but I know I need to let her go and I will when I feel the time is right.
Shelly x