I had an empty day, well it’s been a fairly empty week really. Anyway, it was too hot to do work in the garden and I had no reason to go to the supermarket. So I stayed at home. I was bored and getting annoyed at a few things that haven’t been done since my husband died. Flat batteries, plug holes and shower traps that hadn’t been cleaned, the washing machine needed a clean. He had bought a new tv, sound bar, dvd player, hoover and lawnmower just before he died. (Everything had broken down at the same time). The boxes were still waiting to be flattened and recycled. So, I set to and did all the jobs.
I wish I could say that it made me feel better, but I got more miserable with each one. They were ‘his’ jobs and it just made me realise that this is going to be my life from now on. I feel as if I have just been punishing myself all day. And now the weekend looms.
He is always missing, but sometimes he is more missing than usual.
Xx
Sounds like you had a productive day. Wish my day was as productive went to a funeral this morning seems all i do just lately. To hot to do anything else. Your right we have to do all the jobs our partners used to do. Just hits home more how much we are on our own . Somedays all the jobs that need doing seem to get on top of me and course me to panic . I decided to do what i can and if i can’t it doesn’t get done.
Wow, well done @Willow112 ! I try to do some of the things John used to do, but others are beyond me. Getting a bit better at them now, but after he died, I couldn’t even change the plug on the sink, as I couldn’t get the metal thingie through the rubber hole! We just have to keep trying.
Reading the posts on this thread makes me feel I’m not alone. I too have little panics at doing things that I would have done without any problem a few years ago but they are just jobs my husband would have done. Sorting the ink out for the printer. Putting a new bulb in the garden light etc. I seem to have lost confidence. I think it’s just the realisation that it’s all down to me now. xx