Sick of hearing “stay strong”

Sorry to hear your situation,Jules,its awful when you dont know the full facts isnt it?Together so long too…your right,what option do we have but to carry on for the other people that Love us?Hugs to All of you that have lost their loved 1,s…xx

4 Likes

Hi. Let us know how the dinner at your friends went.

Had a great night thanks but, without someone to come home with and share the experience it was tinged with a bit of sadness for me. Mind you,I’ve taken the first step now so hopefully I can build on that!

3 Likes

Glad to hear it went well for you but totally understand the sadness when you went home x

1 Like

I understand exactly how you feel, I lost my husband a little over 5 weeks ago, we were also together since we were 16/17 and I feel like I’m lost at sea. At first I was inundated with calls and texts and I just wanted to scream for everyone to just stop asking me such ridiculous questions, like ‘how are you’ or ‘be strong’ or it will get better/easier with time’ . Now I’m like a leper, but I have no patience for people anymore. Apart from my mum and mother in law I really wouldn’t care if I didn’t speak to most people ever again. I have 2 children 17 and 14 and they are my sole reason for getting up each day. I haven’t yet gone back to work and really don’t think I can face my colleagues or customers, I know most people are well meaning but all it does is compound your loss. Sending you lots of love xx

6 Likes

I know I my husband died in February and we’d been today 43yrs + it is so bloody hard and people just don’t acknowledge that it is ok to talk about I think off him all the time , it’s also hard seeing people walking together my other half is gone and a big part of me went . Getting to sleep is hard then staying awake is hard . I really hope things get more better soon

2 Likes

I sleep a lot, defence mechanism I think, l live in a bubble my bubble, l not one for going out now, when l was with Michael l when out 6 night a week, did all sorts of things, lots of holiday and cinemas meals local pubs, life was fabulous and the Cherry I was with a man I loved now all gone, people expect me to carry on, go forward, enjoy life find somewhere to go out, find people to go out with and I think why, what is there like most people say on here you’re on your own….l,m nearly 66, what do you do now, tv my new best friend and Christmas is coming up, the family having a great time advert…not looking forwards to that .

2 Likes

I’ve just logged back on after a while away from the site. It’s now 8 months since I lost Tony. I can totally understand everything that’s been said on here. People mean well but it’s all cliches - I can put on a happy face as I’m sure most of us do but inside I’m screaming. But no one really wants to deal with that. Only our very closest family and friends are usually party to it And yes neighbours have surprised me the most. We’ve lived here 23 years with mostly the same neighbours we’ve always had. Not one person has knocked on the door or offered a cuppa every now and then. But most have put some slushy comments on social media- I’m not on social media- why not just talk to me personally. I feel that some people feed off others grief and that makes me a bit angry as they’ve no idea what it’s like to live through this deep sadness every day.

2 Likes

I have just read your post and it’s given me so much comfort, I am so desperately sad recently widowed after forty one lovely years with my soulmate and I know I will never be the same again, I feel that my life is over too, nothing matters anymore but weirdly I have found grief poetry helps particularly ‘ No I’m not okay’

4 Likes

It’s my darling Paul’s 6th anniversary tomorrow and I’m sitting here reliving his last hours! We were married for 38 years and he was my best friend and my soul mate! I can relate to so much of what you’ve written, I feel so alone although I have a wonderful family. I try to keep busy but nothing can fill the awful gaping hole in my life. I too find it so hard to see other couples of our age out enjoying life and feel robbed of so much! I keep going for my family’s sake but I don’t have any joy or enthusiasm for anything now! I hope that one day we will all be reunited with our loved ones!

8 Likes

Hi, l am sorry you are going through this on your own, my husband passed away 8 weeks ago, he was 58 yrs old, from diagnosised to death was 10 months, he had 2 terminal brain tumours, we expected to spend the rest of our lives together.
Andrew was the most brilliant husband, devoted, caring, loving, and nothing he wouldn’t do for me.
Is funeral was beautiful, he arranged it himself, l have just had is ashes interned in a plot,
My friends have been there for me, and we talk about Andrew, which helps me… Its hard, and I miss him so much.
I am here for anyone going through the same, take care xx😘

4 Likes

Truly sorry for your Loss

Prayers & Thoughts all the beautiful memories moments will be with you forever.
Peace in difficult days.Comfort in times of tears.
Take One Day At A Time
:pray:t5::pray:t5::pensive::innocent::latin_cross:

1 Like

Thank you hun,
Yesterday l had a problem with my car, l took it to the garage, and a lovely manager asked what he could do for me… And l was crying, saying my husband would have done this for me
He took me to is office, and talked to me.
Got my car fixed, told me, if I am not sure about any thing l can take it back anytime. He didn’t charge me, and gave me a hug.
I felt so much better xxx​:sob::sob::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

5 Likes

Yeap that’s life I agree with what you say it’s an insular journey that each one who experiences loss goes through . Work does not get people through nor do words it’s a constant shit sandwhich but survive we do as survival instincts kick in .
I think loosing my albeit elderly mum took the rose tinted glasses of me about life in general . Mums medical intervention and palliative input was very lacking and uncaring so that blinker of life taken from my eyes . Seeing my siblings selfish and self centred outlook took that veil from my eyes and so called few friends don’t even touch base to see how your coping . If anything it’s made me grow up to reality that everyone is in their own bubble and until theirs burst it’s a case of I’m all right jack !

2 Likes

It’s never a rant ! To express your feelings & grief. & yes a hug is wonderful. You’ve done so well having to cut the grass etc . Saying stay strong pisses me of . You do what your body tells you xx

2 Likes

I was speaking to a lady today who lost her husband of 21year over 30 years ago, she said when she looks back it’s like a dream now, but still sad, she found somebody else, but he wasn’t a good person and fire him off, so never really found another to love like her hubby, life can be rotten sometimes …

1 Like

Yea I get told that a lot it’s been three years since my husband died , because of covid I couldn’t even grieve with family apart from funeral and then not too close . I thought I was getting better, but last summer my 18yr old grandson moved away about 6 hours car ride away , he doesn’t drive and neither do I . He has a lovely nature just like his grandad with and although we FaceTime it’s not the same. I have other grandchildren living locally I see once a week or so because of there work times . But Cam was my boost of joy he always knows how to cheer me up . But him being so far away hurts so much . I’m back at the bottom of the pit and working my way up again . Everyone I know who has lost a partner has said they got rid of their cloths after a few months , my husbands are still in wardrobe . When does it get easier . If it wasn’t for Covid he’d still be alive .

1 Like