Sickness and weight loss

Not sure where to start but feel I need to reach out for some help. I lost my husband almost a month ago quite suddenly to cancer at 60 - we’ve been married 23 years and together nearly 26 years. The first week I just screamed and cried in the middle of an empty field and then I seemed to get a bit stronger … he has two businesses and employees and there’s a lot to do. I’m still trying to wade through things now. I have my own two businesses and a son of almost 18… but since the funeral I seem to be getting worse daily. I wake up feeling sick every morning - most days I am sick at some point… I’m obviously alone now … I work from home as I’m self employed … I feel like I have huge anxiety most days. I have animals so I have to get myself up and dressed and do them … and I’m trying to hard to do stuff but I just keep feeling so overwhelmed. We bought our dream home in March and all our dreams have been ripped apart at the seams. I just don’t know what to do or even where to start. The grief is crippling… but the sickness and weight loss is really getting me down. The doctors prescribed anti depressants and another tablet that I can’t remember as I type this. I just keep losing weight and I’m also panicking about being ill and letting my son down. Is anyone else in this position? I know nothing is normal … but if anyone has any advice or validation I would really appreciate some help. Thank you so much x

1 Like

I’m not sure what to say that will help. I feel I just need to get through each day at the moment. I comfort eat, all the wrong things, where as you’re probably not eating enough or at all which won’t help with how you feel.

You’ve had a lot to sort out and do. Can you take a complete break from the business for a while?

Have you tried counselling, hypnotherapy or CBT, one of these may help.

I have just found meditation, and if my dog would stop jumping in me half way through, it does help.

Grief is shit, there are some good days now at 22 weeks in but a lot of where I am at has come from a stubbornness to not fall into a pit of darkness.

1, because I don’t want to be miserable for life
2, I owe it to Rich to live the life he couldn’t

Easier said than done but it’s better than the alternative.

Being in here and meeting like minded people has been a huge support for me and we have created a zoom group privately not through Sue Ryder that has been really good. We have a laugh and support each other through all the good and crap times.

Go easy on yourself as a month is no time at all.


thank you so much… i didn’t think about hypnotherapy… I might try that. Joe wouldn’t want me to miserable … he so wanted to live and he fought so hard … I feel like you do … about living the life Joe can’t but it’s so raw … I don’t want to but I have to … I can’t let my son down. You’re right its so shit … thank you for responding x


@Lost54 so sorry for your loss. I also lost my husband to cancer in April this year. We were married almost 35 years. I lost about 2 stone after my husband passed away because I felt sick, anxious and couldn’t eat or sleep. Now at 13 weeks my eating and anxiety are a lot better. I think we can all relate to feeling our future has been robbed. My husband had not ling retired and we had so many plans. It’s very early days for you and hopefully you start to feel small improvements over the following weeks. I’m still struggling but definitely not as much as the early weeks. This forum has been a huge help. Just to talk to others who truly understand helps a lot. Sending hugs.


@Lost54 So sorry for your loss. I know grief can feel all-consuming and affects every part of your being. I lost my husband suddenly in January and was waking up feeling sick for the first few months, I lost a lot of weight. Eventually I was diagnosed with PTSD and was referred to a counsellor. The sickness has now subsided although my appetite is still not great, it is improving, and I do have better days. I have gone back to work, and I am determined to live my life for the both of us.

As @Ali29 says it is still early days for you and you have so much to manage. Take small steps and be kind to yourself. xxxx


I too feel nauseous and have lost weight. Because i dont feel hungry i forget to eat. My husband was the one who enjoyed cooking. He was a feeder! Now food doesn’t interest me unless its put in front of me. Its been 3 months for me and i hope this ill feeling fades soon


I too have lost my husband which was just 6 months ago. I struggle daily with the grief and just seem to exist . Every morning I too felt the sickness and anxiety. I went to see my doctor who prescribed me anti depressants which are ‘Mirtazapine’. Wish I had been put on these tablets sooner as it had helped me immensely. The sickness and anxiety is no way as bad as it was before and I can now eat better and as like yourself I too was losing a lot of weight which makes you feel even more depressed. This worked for me but it may not for everyone. I would suggest this to your GP. I wish you well and hope you get some help.


After losing my husband in October 22 my doctor prescribed me mirtazapine too as I was getting really depressed and lost 2 stone and not really sleeping. It has taken a few weeks but they have now made a difference and my appetite has increased and I am definitely sleeping better. As you say they may not be for everyone but I’m doing ok with them at the moment. I struggled for six months but eventually knew I needed to speak to my doctor and get the help I desperately needed.


I’m so sorry you are so bad. My husband died suddenly on 10th February this year. I felt I was doing ok at the beginning but not good now. Anxiety and tummy troubles. Nausea as well. I have been told that it takes longer for you to grieve when death is sudden.