After 8 years of my dad being unwell and struggling with various health issues and alcoholism I lost my dad back in April. He was 56. I’m 27 and an only child, I was his only support network. Since his passing I’ve tackled the bereavement admin vortex and tried to continue on with my life as that’s what he wanted.
I have got married, I left job and managed to get a new one which is more in line with what I want out of life and my career. I’m relocating closer to my wife’s family and where we can see us settling down in the future. These are all exciting things and I cannot wait for this new chapter to start.
The killer of all this is I can’t tell Dad about it all. 8 months down the line I’m all of a sudden hit with a bombardment of emotions and are really struggling. I can’t seem to find any motivation, I get emotional on a daily basis. I have a feeling it’s got something to do with Christmas and the fact I miss him so much. I feel complete disbelief of what happened back in April and he’s actually gone.
Any tips for whats suppose to be the “most wonderful time of year” ?
I really don’t want to turn into the grinch but I know I can’t just ignore the way I’m feeling as its starting to disrupt my daily life.
Hello @Eddy21,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.
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Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
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Our Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS
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Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
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Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to read our support page on coping with grief at Christmas.
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Seaneen
Hello Eddy,
I’m sorry to hear about your dad’s passing, it must have hurt, still hurt, even if you may have saw it coming. Holidays are especially hard when your loved ones aren’t there to be happy alongside you. I’m a stranger but I’m proud you’ve done so much for yourself, and I’m sure your dad is too. These holidays, be kind to yourself, you don’t have to do a traditional Christmas if it hurts. You can let it pass, treat it like any other plain old day, allow yourself these things, your dad means a lot to you so of course it’s hard. I wish you all the best, you don’t have to always be strong, be kind to your heart and grief.
@Eddy21 I know what you mean you feel like you have taken so many steps backwards. There is no time limit on how we feel and just because everyone else is happy don’t put pressure on yourself. My first without my mum and her anniversary on 29th so my son and I did it differently but we both just want it over with. I moved house in September as couldn’t bare living as close as I did to my mums anymore as a constant reminder she’s not here, it was stressful and whilst she couldn’t fix what was happening it would be nice to vent to her, it’s the small things. You are not alone in how you feel and don’t put any pressure on yourself 