Sinking feeling.

I can’t help but get a sinking feeling whenever I think of how my dad must’ve felt in his last days. I hate to think that he was scared, he knew he was dying and that must’ve been scary, thinking that he may have been upset and crying and hiding his fear makes me feel physically ill. Any advice?

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Dear @muzzy09

Welcome to the Community. I am sorry to hear of the loss of your dad.

I do think that anyone who is coming to the end of their life may be scared and cry as they have no control over what is happening to them. If your dad was very independent then this must have been very hard for him and men are not ones for showing their emotions.

I would book an appointment with your doctor and let them know how you are feeling and find out how they can support you .

Sue Ryder has a Grief Guide that helps you understand and cope with your bereavement and grief and explores your emotions and feelings. This may be of help to you.

You are in the early the stages of grief and it is only natural to go over the last days of your dad in your head. Take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself.

Please continue to reach out and take care.


he is at peace now. this is torturing yourself and he would not want that. death like life goes over fast and it is done. do not torture yourself on top of grief. just say stop recognize your agonizing and try to prevent yourself from going down that road. :gift_heart:

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I think that many people when they know they are dying have made peace with themselves. Not all, but many, especially if they have been ill and in pain for anytime. My mum used to ask why she woke up again each morning. I know she was ready to go. You cannot know what your beloved dad was thinking but remember that was then and he isn’t suffering now. Death is a journey each one of us has to make alone but I’m sure he knew he was loved and that you did whatever you could for him at the time. All your feelings are normal in grief, even though they are difficult to bear. They will come and go, unexpectedly and sometimes like a tsunami so that you can bearly catch your breath. Accept them, sit with them and feel them knowing that eventually they will pass until the next time. Take him forward in your heart. He will always be a part of you. Sending love andma virtual hug. Take care.