Its been just over six months since my husband of almost 27 years died. I was feeling ok for a short time but now feel sad again…..ive been crying and feeling so lonely this last couple of weeks. Im 48 now and Eric was 51 when he died 
. His sister, who has the same genetic heart condition, had a heart transplant a few weeks ago and is doing so well so the worry of all that and the feelings surrounding that are upsetting. He should be here witnessing such amazement. I live at home with two of our daughters, but they obviously have their own lives and I find myself alone a lot….other than when im at work. The thought of Christmas is so sad. Our oldest daughter will be home from Australia but I think if she wasn’t coming home, i’d hibernate til after the new year. I think people assume i’m over his death because its been six months and im working and seem to be getting on……..but i feel so lonely and invisible. Would just love a big hug and some care and support x
Sending you a big virtual hug. 6 months is no time at all, honestly. You will not long have been out of the period of numbness and shock and it is now sinking in for you that it is permanent which is why you get the waves of such deep sadness. As you say, people just see the superficial skin deep result of us just gettting on, as we have no option other than to do so. They don’t see into our broken hearts or feel the huge weight of grief on our shoulders. It is natural to feel the loneliness and to cry.
I think this time of year is one I always wish I was a hibernating animal anyway. Other peoples expections of Christmas can be a burden I find. But I expect once your daughter arrives and your other daughters sweep you up in being together for the holiday period you will have some respite from how you feel.
Take care and keep posting as we all know how you are feeling and we all need to share our feelings.
Thank you for such a lovely and nderstanding reply 