It was 6 months yesterday i feel like i cant stop thinking of that morning i woke to him having a cardiac arrest having flash backs again waking up at exactly the time it happened thinking could i have done more why didnt i wake sooner what if he tryed to wake me up i feel so guilty 
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My situation is similar we were on holiday and he became unwell I still feel I didn’t see how ill he must have felt and I feel so guilty, he had cardiac arrest in reception whilst waiting to see doctor, death was not even something on my mind I just thought he was under the weather, I still have horrendous flashbacks and the shock of being on holiday and facing death still seems unreal, life can be so cruel we had been together 43 years and I miss my soulmate so much he was only 61 
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So sorry for your loss we were together for 25 years he was 54 its so cruel 
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It really is sorry for your loss .
So sorry for your loss. It is so cruel and shocking to lose our soulmates let alone while on holiday.
My soulmate was 61 too, he had a heart attack and passed away while walking at lunchtime not far from his office. It was so unexpected as he was so strong, lively and healthy. It’s so heartbreaking to think he was suffering alone on the street - I keep seeing him in my head, falling on the pavement, alone -over and over again. It’s now been over 8 months and I am still feeling very sorry that I wasn’t there with him.
That image will stay with me for the rest of my life (my love, I am so sorry I wasn’t there with you, I am so sorry).
The only thing I can say is that when my husband had his heartattack he was not aware of anything very quickly so hopefully your husband never felt alone , it’s so sad we all have awful flashbacks and some things we can’t change x​:broken_heart:
@Cadge its not fair to lose them in their fifties or early 60s it’s so cruel for us all . 30 years flew by . I can’t bear to think of a future without him by my side x
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Me too one day at a time I think don’t think about the future too much to scary.
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Cadge it was 6 months yesterday when Chris spoke his last words to me before having his heart attack and he was revived and placed in ICU before he finally passed. This week seems so hard. Every time I think I’m moving forward I seem to slip back again. This afternoon I can’t seem to stop crying.
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Thank you so much - I really hope and pray that my angel never felt alone 
I can never get over that voice down the phone the police was saying “are you alone? please go back to your office and stay with someone I can’t tell you until you are with someone”. I was walking back to the office but couldn’t wait so asked her repeatedly to tell me there and then - then she told me. That voice still rings in my ears till now and forever for sure.
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Neither can I after 37 blissful years together 
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So sorry its heartbreaking my husband made it to hospital but never woke after 24 hours we at to turn life support off the worst day of my life miss him
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Im exactly the same how do i do the future without him im going to continue for him until i see him again xx
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@Cadge i had a six days of constantly hoping for improvement, hopes being raised and then smashed before I had to take that final step and agree to withdrawal of life support. I hope I never have to make that decision again and that when I go my daughters don’t have to be put in that position. I know that there was no way back but it was still an awful decision to have to make.
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Its awful miss him so much
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@Cadge i know, dreading tomorrow, been with my daughter for the weekend and will be travelling home in the morning, 6 months since I held his hand and said goodbye
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Its just like a rollercoaster some days im ok than others the pain is back to day 1 i hate the weekends they are definitely the worst. Im a different person to what i was its so hard living without them xx
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