Six weeks since he passed and it’s so painful

My partner of 17 years passed away unexpectedly 6 weeks ago. He had been ill but we thought it was a nasty virus. It turned out to be a recurrence of his heart problems. He then lost his life to a heart attack while in the cardiology critical care unit waiting to be made well enough to undergo a procedure. The whole process was traumatic and exhausting and then I lost my beloved. I keep reliving those weeks and asking myself if something different had been done whether he would still be here. Since he passed I’ve had to move out of his house as it now belongs to his children and I’m uncertain how I’ll cope financially. I have no rights as he was my common law husband. I wake up frightened every day as I miss him desperately and worry how I’ll manage, it’s so hard


My goodness how awful. I was with john 16 years. 7 of which he was ill. Luckily john planned his will to include me any my future. Children from other mothers just seem to feel they a right to everything even though their dad loved you. Thing is most people dont talk about death…so whn it comes its a big blow but also financially as you have said. I am 7 weeks in to the loss of my soul mate. Some days ate unbearable. But i have made the decision to try to do small jobs. I would also see a solicitor as common law you may have more rights than you think x

I really feel for you,it’s bad enough dealing with the grief without all that rubbish on top of it.I was with my partner 38 years never married we jointly owned our house,he left a will thankfully which basically left me everything,his son that didn’t have anything to do with him only lived 2 miles away wanted to contest the will but the solicitor told him he hadn’t a leg to stand on.It sickens me that someone could be so heartless at the worst time of your life.


Sadly children think they are owed stuff. They dont feel they need to have at least made an effort.
My husbands sons often talked about their dads house they visited 2 maube3 times a year and i never said any thing or put them right . The will was read last week and they get nothing till i die. Im sure john was aware of the lack of relationships they had with him. One even said to me we were dad and son not friends. Which summed it up.
They are going to be deeply upset as he has made provisions for me and his step daughter…and they get nothing till i go…

My husband died in january and it is still hard but it is getting better. Hoping you feel better soon x

Yes you are right they just think they are entitled.My other half knew what his son was like so gave him and the grandkids money a few years and told them clearly tha all they were getting but he still argued he was entitled to everything as technically he was next of kin thank goodness there was a will or he would have taken the lot he won’t be getting anything when I go either.Ironically if he had treat us right I would have left him the house I don’t have kids.

I think you may be right about the lady seeing a solicitor I got Peter’s private pension even though we never married I was classed as his dependent even though I have my own private pension.

I’m so sorry at your loss Anastasia. I lost my partner of 32 years 2 mths ago. I think it’s disgraceful that in this modern age when a lot of people are living together that they don’t have an rights. The government pays bereavement payments of 3500 and 350 per month to a couple even if they have been married for one day. Nothing if you have been together for decades and aren’t married.
You should see a solicitor before moving out. You probably contributed to improving the house, and may have had a verbal agreement with your partner to stay. Good luck thinking of you


That is exactly as i feel. Johns aons at the funeral basically ignored be but at the end he came to and asked how i was followed very quickly told me he needed £6000 to be able to move back over to china…the end bit of the funeral was so cheap because they thought i was spending their money …so they will be sad like i was for 7 plus years. Am i angry …yes very

Thanks for your replies - it means a lot to know others understand. I miss my partner every second of every day. I do have my own house but unfortunately it is in a bad state of disrepair and requires major work. My sons feel I am holding back on grieving because of the stress of the house move. I find it all just overwhelms me anyway and I feel angry, sad, scared and most of all long to have him back. Also I’ve been told that because I don’t have any evidence of living with him I can’t claim anything.

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