I am the only child of a long deceased couple. I loved both my parents so much. We weren’t well off but my parents always made sure there was good food and clean clothes. They were both the best parents I could have hoped for. I always knew that my dad had a first wife who had died many many years ago. They had a son my half brother who lived with us until he went to sea. The subject of my dad’s first wife was never discussed.
I have just found out the circumstances of my dad’s first wife’s death over 70 years ago. Apparently my dad killed in what can be described as a crime of passion. I can’t go into details but he was cleared of murder and spent a couple of years in prison. To say I am shocked is an understatement! I am not ashamed of him as he was a lovely person who had had an extremely difficult war time experience prior to his first marriage but I just feel so sad that he had to live with this massive secretive burden. Should I write down what I know of the situation and leave it for my children or should I just let sleeping dogs lie. I’m still in shock so don’t want to do anything too hastily.
Thank you for reading this.
Oh my, what a story and thank you so much for sharing. I know what I would do but it is your dad and his life story which does belong to you and your family. As you say, you are not ashamed of your father’s past because he was a good and kind father and that really tells a big part of the story. The other part is war service which today we understand far better and know what the effects were and are. If you don’t write about which incidentally you already have done and then your children and their children will find out if they look into the family history and always wondered if you knew. You don’t need to tell them now but it’s their life story as well as yours. Enjoy putting into the words you want them to read. Once again thank you for telling your story. S xx
Thank you so much for your advice
Firstly Tumbledryer I am so sorry for your loss of both your parents, even if it was some time ago, it doesn’t always make it any easier as you just get used to them not being around. I too don’t have my Mum and Dad. My Dad died 22 years ago and my Mum more recently in November.
My my, what a secret you’ve uncovered. Very sound advice from Susie123. You certainly wouldn’t want to leave your children questioning their relationship with you or indeed leaving them feeling how you possibly do now about your parents. My question is, does your brother know?