Hi, my husband Dave, 55, passed away from cancer 3 weeks ago after a whirlwind 4 months and 20 days from our first medical appointment to death. He had lung cancer with brain mets and chose not to have any treatment as it would only be life prolonging rather than curative. He had cancer as a teenager which he was lucky to survive and didn’t want chemo again to gain an extra 6 months. He chose quality over quantity. He was given 3 to 6 months. Unfortunately he had 5 seizures in a row 2 months prior to passing away leaving him paralysed in his right arm and leg and cognitively affected so had to move to hospice. He was in hospice 9 weeks prior to his death and i spent all my time with him there. I’m grateful for a lot of things including his passing being so peaceful due to sedation and pain relief being administered in significant quantity for him. I’m lucky that we got chance to say all the things we needed to say and we were so close during this time. I’m lucky we had 26 years.
I miss him. I miss and grieve our future and and I’m struggling with the trauma of watching him slowly deteriorate and him desperately wanting to pass away. He’d had enough and it was immense relief for us all (inc adult daughters) when he passed away. The cancer was ugly but his death beautiful.
Amongst all the grief and planning the funeral for this week, I’m finding night time the hardest. Sleep is so fragmented. I’m sure I would function better for a good night’s sleep. Something i was able to do throughout whilst he was still alive but simply stopped the day he died.
Has anyone taken any medication to help with sleep either prescribed or OTC and did this help?
Sorry for the ramble!
Hello, I’m really sorry to read your post, I lost my husband two weeks ago and know the feelings of despair it brings, I too have to face a funeral this week which I am dreading, I’m not sure if I can say the name of the sleeping tablets I have been taking but to advise they are in a blue box from Boots, they do seem to work,obviously if you need them for a period you need to seek advise from your doctor, this I intend to do after the funeral if I am struggling to sleep. Best wishes for this week
My husband had a sudden heart attack at my feet 16 months ago , and then spent 3 days in ICU , where I had to watch him die again !
Sleep just didn’t happen in the first few weeks I was prescribed Zopiclone sleeping tablets but they don’t like to keep you on them too long , I was going over my husbands death in my head , I then went on mirtazapine anti depressant just one 15mg at night to help with sleep , the lower dose makes you sleepy , 16 months on I am now just taking them “off label one half a tablet so 7.5mg of mirtazapine at night just on the days I feel I need it, couple of nights a week now , and it works , I think just knowing I have the choice to take a tablet or not also helps , so the non tablet days now out weigh tablet days x