Sat here at my mother in laws waiting for a ceremony to take place for my wife who died in March , her family are Hindu so her mum wanted to do one , to set her soul at peace apparently. Have no problem with the actual ceremony but there’s about 50 people here in her house all laughing and making small talk , I’ve just gone and sat quietly in a corner yet in my head I’m screaming ‘she’s dead what have you all got to be laughing about ‘ if I get asked are you ok one more time, I swear I won’t be saying fuck off in my head while my mouth says yes I’m ok , it will be the other way round .
I know my wife would want me to just get through it but I feel like I’m about to explode .
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So sorry.
Sending a big hug
Rose x
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There is not enough space in your mind for anything else other than the grief for your loved one, you cannot process anything else.
After 6 months when Joan died I went to the pub with my brother in law and couldn’t stand the rubbish that was being talked about, it will be a while before you can talk about anything other than your loss.
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@Dino13
Keep your lovely wife in the forefront of your thoughts.
We’re all sitting here quietly with you…
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It’s over 4 months for me now. I realised today that I never ask anyone about themselves any more. I really couldn’t care less about what my friends have been doing or whether they are having problems or issues in their lives. All I can focus on is that Steve died. I cannot process anything else. Luckily, my friends don’t seem to expect anything from me, so far at least.
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Bless you! Bet your pleased it is over with now. It was nice that you respected her family’s tradition. I bet it took a lot not to let rip at them! 
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Oh that is just how I feel. I can’t think of anything else and I can’t process any other information
I do ask about others but only so I don’t have to talk about my grief as I feel it’s all I talk and think about.
I feel I am so dull and boring - all the spark and light has gone from me and I wonder if it will ever come back. I just don’t know this new me at all.
Sending hugs xx
I am fine with the ones I care about , just finding I have a lot less patience for the ones I don’t .
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