I was brought up with my grandparents because my mother walked out when I was 3 and my dad obviously didn’t want the responsibility. I had a good life with them and after my grandfather died I looked after my grandmother until she passed at the age of 93.
Unfortunately I never married and would have loved to be like my friends with a husband and children.
The man I met who would eventually become my husband had lost his first wife. We became good friends and eventually he asked me to marry him. He came with a ready made family who I got to know and they readily accepted me.
I had grown to love him very much. He spoilt me so much and I would have given him the world if I could.
I waited 63 tears to find true happiness, only to have it snatched away from me after 10 years.
I am absolutely heartbroken. I don’t want to be here without my husband because I can’t see a point to my life or anything.
I am so angry - not with him, he didn’t get a choice. He probably wouldn’t want me to be like this. - to be so upset and angry - but I can’t see a way forward and these feelings will not go away. I want to shout at someone - “why have you taken my love away from me - what have I done that’s so wrong that I have to be on my own AGAIN.” 
So very sorry.
You are obviously a very loving and caring person.
I wish I could make all the pain, loss, sadness and anger disappear.
I understand being heartbroken, angry and lost.
I have phoned the Samaritans a few times. They are very caring and excellent listeners. You can phone them free of charge on 116123
Thinking of you,
Rose xx
That sounds so hard. I’m sorry you are going through this. I have called the Samaritans a few times too, it was helpful. Maybe you could look at getting bereavement counselling? I think your anger is fair, as his death was not, it’s tragic. I’m sorry for your loss.
So sorry to hear your story. I feel anger sometimes and it is supposed to be a natural reaction. The worst thing is when you have happiness and it is suddenly gone, the shock is awful and nothing can fill that empty space where he used to be.
I feel angry too! Nick was my 3rd husband after two previous abusive marriages , I was lucky to experience the meaning of unconditional love and realised that my “previous “marriages were not as they should of been ! The abuse becomes “normal “ Nick taught me it was NOT “normal ! We were together nearly 24 years and waited a long time to get married we “eloped “ to Gretna Green in 2022 ,at last I could call him my husband, we only got 17 months of marriage and it was taken away from me ! It was like “This is what you could of had “!!
Jane 15. Finding unconditional love is wonderful and you were so lucky and blessed to find that and it makes it so much harder to bear when that is taken from us.
I had never been married. My husband lost his first wife and when we got together he gave me, like your husband, unconditional love. He had a major heart op just before we were due to be married in 2014 so everything was put on hold, but eventually we made it. That op should have been enough for anyone but no, he was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2021 and I was so angry - had he not been through enough - this just wasn’t fair. I’m not angry WITH him - I loved him so much - I was angry FOR him and still am. At the moment I can’t see any future for me without him.
Sending hugs 
I feel angry for Nick too, he always felt he was dealt a hard set of cards, adopted at birth, he was brought up as an only child, when in fact he was child number 7 to his birth family. He always said he came into the world we no one and would probably leave with no one ( he did not) . His first wife ran off with a younger richer man! he didn’t even realise anything was up with his marriage , his 3 grown up kids favoured their new " step Dad" simply because he could offer them more in the way of money! the past decade his kids had little or no contact, even denied him seeing his own Grandchildren, and the step dad gave his daughter away simply because he had more money and paid for the wedding! His heart was damaged but they all broke it years ago, his Mother died in August last year, his kids were at the funeral but didn’t even comfort or approach their grieving Dad, Nick suffered a heart attack at home then two days in ICU, I got his kids all around his bed as he said " they were his only blood" they asked me for "recent photos of their Dad " shame didn’t have any of their own!! they when they saw his watch, his glasses, his designer clothes in the photo, they asked me for it!! and then they got hold of my solicitor to delay probate as they felt they were “owed”, poor Nick I am angry for him, they didn’t respect him alive and now dead they still, don’t , he was 65, and still working job placing adults with learning disabilities until the day he died, he was a hardworking caring man, who didn’t get to retire x
So sorry.
Lovely people deserve better don’t they xx
They do ! And sad part was his kids he adored and his daughter age 42 who had an ivf baby 3 years ago was crying over his bed saying (but you haven’t met Sienna ) that’s her daughter his grandchild , I felt like saying “and who’s fault is that ?) but what difference would it of made then? But Nick made it clear he was pleased to be a grandfather and he wanted to be part of her life they only live up the road ! Very cruel , his daughter is such a pretty petite thing on the outside , but very ugly inside , Nick would of been mortified if he knew they wanted part of his estate , they should of wanted him more !
I am so sorry.
I understand relatives showing a facade to others but behaving totally differently.
Big hug xx
I’m so sorry to hear that and understand the anger which is part of the bereavement process. I am angry and am on an emotional rollercoaster.