So exhausted!

It will be a year next month when I lost my husband but to me it seems like yesterday. I still just take each day as it comes and have tried to cope as best I can. However, the effort of doing this is leaving me so exhausted all the time. I just want to sleep and wake up when this nightmare is over.

I finding I’m not the person I used to be and I shocked my sister today by asking her to stop moaning all the time. We’d been away with other family members for the weekend and her constant moaning finally got to me. I apologised and said I was tired but I wish people would realise what is important in life. I too used to moan all the time until I realised, too late, what is really important in life as now that has been so cruelly and suddenly taken from me.

Please tell me I’m not the only one feeling like this.

Take care, x Julie


You are not the only one grief affects every aspect of your life and yes it’s exhausting. Be kind to yourself and rest when you can . Counselling helps put your feelings into perspective and talk to your GP too. We’re all walking the same path and nobody will judge you on here Take care x

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Julie I’m coming up to a year too- Sunny died 12th June in ITU. Its like it was yesterday and I’m remembering everything that we did in May 21, including his birthday and him buying me a ring, and we had no idea of the catastrophe that was about to strike. I’m devastated- he was absolutely everything to me- my best friend, adviser, champion cuddler, and my future.

Like you I just cannot tolerate people moaning about their relationships. My sister does an eye roll and complains about her husband sometimes. I just want to scream at her. Sunny and I were totally compatible and i had no reason to moan about him. Some people don’t appreciate what they have and I’ve lost a very special man, so it angers me.

I’ve changed too Julie and that saddens me, because I’m a slightly different person to the one Sunny knew. God I miss him so very much, every minute of every day. He was only 57, he had a new job which he loved and we were just about to embark on our new future.

Anyway, I’ve got a new job, am going to sell this house and move 150 miles to be nearer my sibs and my
close friend. It will be a massive wrench leaving this house but it’s full of reminders that he’s no longer here, and makes me feel so lonely and sad. We loved each other so.

So no Julie, you’re definitely not the only one feeling like this.

I hope today is a good day for you.

With love and warm wishes

Sophie x


Reading your messages is just as though I could have wrote them it will be a year for me on Thursday and like lot you I am not the same person and get annoyed when people are moaning about their partners I miss him so much not sure where the year has gone and I’m still plodding along the pain is like no other is it I not sure what the future holds never thought it was this with out my strong fit loving husband never known life with out him 46 yrs we are all struggling with this life we did not want day by day I guess but it’s not easier go over this time last year it’s just not fair is it for us alone x
Take care x


Hi Sophie

Like you, I am remembering everything we were doing this time last year. Ian received his terminal diagnosis on April 29th and we were given a year. Seven weeks later, on June 18th he passed away. So I suppose I am living in this seven week ‘nightmare bubble’ now and it is so, so hard.

You have done so much, new job and moving 150 miles away. That takes a lot of courage and energy. I’m the complete opposite as the house is just as it was when Ian left it. People have asked me about moving but I can’t even think about it at the moment. I have no family or close friends here so it is very lonely but I do feel close to Ian here. We are all so different in how we react aren’t we and perhaps I should be more proactive like you Sophie.

I hope you sell your house quickly so that you can make that move.

Take care of yourself,
X Julie


Best wishes, you are extraordinarily brave. Its not a trite, ‘you are so strong, you are doing very well.’ How I hate those words. To undetake to move house is a very brave decision. I wish you well. Plus, anyone else who undertakes major decisions post bereavement. It takes immense courage. Very best wishes.

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Hi Sophie

I’ve been reading through some old posts and found yours. Our husbands passed away within a few days of each other so I was wondering how you are doing.

Have you moved and settled into your new job? That was so brave of you.

This last year has just been a blur for me and I still have no definite plans for the future. I will probably have to move as family live so far away.

I’m still struggling to come to terms with what happened and that Ian seems to have been forgotten by so many.

X Julie