So hard to Comprehend

I lost my wonderful partner just over 10 weeks ago. He had a cardiac arrest just as we were settling down for the night, 2 weeks later after spending that time in ICU he passed away. He was my world, I miss him so badly it hurts. I lost my husband of 34 years to cancer 13 years ago and when I met my partner a couple of years later he was most definitely an unexpected gift. We had a beautiful relationship and Keith was so easy to live with, how lucky was I! To be in this situation again is too much to bear and I haven’t got the same support this time from my family, they are more detached and I don’t think Keith’s family realise how close we really were. I feel so sad and lonely and and frightened as to how I am going to get through this.

Hi Linda3
I think you and anyone one else that puts themselves up for this grief twice are very brave.
I know I could not bear this twice in one lifetime.
I am sad for your loss and I hope this site will give you the support you need

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Oh Linda, I simply cannot imagine… I don’t know how you got through it the first time as I am not doing.

How do we manage through the uncopable… and then do it again is something I have no words for. I can understand being sad, lonely and frightened, you are not alone in those feelings. Sorry you are going through this with so little support. I hope somehow someone comforts you, I can’t think of anything that might as to me it just sounds horrendous Take care x

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Hi Linda3,
I can not imagine either what you are going through but i have met a lady and she lost her first husband due to traffic accident and second one while she was pregnant lost him due to cancer. She was trying to help me out as I just thought how she managed. She told me after 3 years she feels much better and happier. Some people are unbeliavable. Hope you will feel a bit better xx

Thank you all for your support. This time of year is so hard let alone dealing with the covid restrictions, the thought of being without the one who was your everything is too hard to think about. I know it’s one day at a time and keep reaching out to your friends & family. Thinking of you all.

Linda I lost my partner eight months ago I was with him for 39 years but we never married I was treated by the bereavement officer like our relationship never mattered he died of covid 19 and this was like he had died of the plague. The way we were treated was appalling. First of all a relationship with a partner is every bit as important as someone that is married. Second we know how much we loved and cared about our men. Thirdly be kind to yourself over Christmas. I am going to spend the day at my mums as it is too painful to have it here. It is my birthday on Christmas Eve and I want to spend it on my own with no fuss. Do what you want and put yourself first you are grieving after all. Love from Debbie Mid. xx

Hi Debmid
I was with my partner who I still refer to as my husband i was with him 28.5 years and our 29th anniversary was end of November.
My birthday christmas day so I get to kill 2 birds with one stone as it were.
When he was in hospital I told them I was his wife they did not question this but I was and felt I had to be forcefull whilst there.
My issue arose when I had to register his death. That was a joke in itself all online. But he was put down as single. This did and still does cause me anger and sadness.
This country is so dranconian. A piece of paper gives you the rights to everything yet without that you are no more than the women next door.
A long term partner is as good as a marriage and should be treated as such. But then theres no money to be made in that.
Covid is being blamed for so many wrong doings and it sickens me how patient and their loved ones are treated.
I am unable to get out of the angry part of grief.
:exploding_head::exploding_head:this whole ta do is so screwed up


Dear Linda3

My respects for you
You are a brave woman,
some people have told me " you can meet and get a man again" well i know they try to confort me but it hurt me.

You actually have been brave in getting a partner something that not many would try to do, perhaps you so the light where we only can se dark.
Painfull is to lost a love one, but some people is not sympathetic at all , they think that in a month we should be ok as life goes on.
There are not words that can give you a consolation but keep going ,

Hi tillwemeetagain
I totally agree with you. Love is not in a piece of paper.
Living with a partner for years is the same, a couple share the same situation, feelings and adversity.

COVID is used to justify all the mistakes everywhere .and you are right patient, and families are sufering of the wrong doing. .
Take carexxx

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Linda how tragic for you I lost my wonderful partner 14 weeks ago very suddenly we were together for 10 wonderful years friends are very kind but unless you have been through a loss like ours they simply do not understand I’m spending Christmas with my daughter as I can’t bear to be alone take care

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